How Do You Figure the Cost of Charter Jet Travel per Air Mile?

It is relatively easy to figure the cost of charter jet travel and you only need to use simple mathematical equations to figure out the total travel cost per mile.

Charter Jet Expenses

If you plan to use a private or charter jet for personal or business purposes, it is best to come up with a computation on the total cost of charter jet travel to decide if this cost is worth the travel time and speed in reaching your desired destination. It would be unfair to presume the total cost of charter jet travel is similar to that of a car, as an airplane will use more fuel over a given distance. But take into account the speed in which you traverse the sky and the drastically reduced travel time you have to endure, and using a charter jet might prove to be a reliable solution for all your air travel needs.

Understand the fact that the total cost will depend on a variety of factors, such as the intended destination or distance and the kind of aircraft that you wish to use. Fuel prices are also an important factor to consider because no matter how near or far your destination may be, the aircraft needs to consume fuel and the higher price will lead to higher costs as well.

Cost of Charter Jet Travel

There are a lot of charter jets to choose from and a charter company will offer you a wide array of choices when it comes to selecting the aircraft for your air travel. As mentioned above, the type of aircraft that you prefer will be a determining factor in figuring out the cost of charter air travel. Let us use the Cessna Citation X as an example. The Citation X is a revolutionary super midsize jet that can carry 8 to 9 passengers in near Mach 1 speeds. The Cessna official website states that the cost per mile rating of the Citation X is around $5.77, given the price of fuel at the $5.50 per gallon mark. The cost of operation is rated at an average of $2,704 per hour. But these facts are based on actual ownership and do not reflect the current prices for charter jet travel.

Charter jet companies charge around $3,950 for a one way trip using the Citation X, with a round trip cost of around $4,600. This figure applies to a minimum of 2 hours jet travel when renting the airplane. A quick example would be a non stop flight from Los Angeles to New York. If you were to fly a commercial airplane, it would take you at least 5 to 8 hours, probably including the waiting times at the airport, at a cost of around $200 to $300 for a roundtrip ticket. A chartered Cessna Citation X will yield a cost of around $20,000 for the same destination flying non stop. The all inclusive figure includes on-flight catering services as standard and will only take an average of 4 hours. The cost per mile is then computed by: Total Cost of Charter / Distance Travelled

$20,000 / 2462 miles (distance from LA to New York) = $8.12 per mile


It is clear that bearing the cost of charter jet travel is reserved for the moneyed folk or the fast rising R&B and hip hop stars of the music industry. But if speed and comfort is of the utomost concern, then nothing comes close to chartering a jet for your next personal or business endeavor. The luxurious cabin appointments and impressive space will lead you to believe that this is the best way to traverse the friendly skies. It is important to know that chartering a jet is considerably more expensive due to the convenience features that it is capable of offering without the usual costs (depreciation, hiring a pilot, aircraft maintenance, etc.) associated with aircraft ownership.

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Hard Riddles to Solve with Answers

Most of us love riddles and puzzles. They give us the opportunity for out of the box thinking and to rattle our brains. They are a good way to pass the time when we are alone or traveling. Apart from being entertaining, riddles are also very good for the development of your mind. Studies have shown that puzzles and problem solving among other activities, stimulate the brain and reduce chances of memory loss later. To get you started, here are some hard riddles to solve with answers.

Hard Riddles with Solutions

Try your answers for each riddle before clicking the “Show Answer” link.

1. What row of numbers comes next in this series?11121121111122131221113112221Show Answer

Answer:1113213211 – After the first line each line describes the previous line. For example, the second line 11 says, there is one 1 in the first line and the third line 21 says, there are two ones (11) in the second line.

2. You have a barrel of oil, and you need to measure out just one gallon. How do you do this if you only have a three-gallon container and a five-gallon container?Show Answer

Answer:Fill the 3-gallon container with oil and pour it into the 5-gallon container. Then fill the 3-gallon container again and use it to fill the 5-gallon container the rest of the way. Out of the 3-gallon oil, 2-gallon will be required to fill the 5-gallon container completely. Hence one gallon will be left in the 3-gallon container.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one Michael j fox has a small one Madonna doesn’t have one the pope has one but he never uses it Bill Clinton Has one and he uses it all the time! What is it?…Show Answer

Answer:A Surname

4. If your sock drawer has 6 black socks, 4 brown socks, 8 white socks, and 2 tan socks, how many socks would you have to pull out in the dark to be sure you had a matching pair?Show Answer

Answer:Five. There are only four colors, so five socks guarantee that two will be the same color.

5. A large truck is crossing a bridge 1 mile long. The bridge can only hold 14000 lbs, which is the exact weight of the truck. The truck makes it half way across the bridge and stops. A bird lands on the truck. Does the bridge collapse? Give a reason.Show Answer

Answer:No it does not collapse. Because it has driven a half mile – you would subtract the gas used from the total weight of the truck.

6. Mom and Dad have four daughters, and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the family?Show Answer

Answer:Seven. The four daughters have only one brother, making five children, plus mom and dad.

7. What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?Show Answer


8. Why wasn’t Bertha put in jail after killing dozens of people?Show Answer

Answer:She was a hurricane.

9. If I say “Everything I tell you is a lie,” am I telling you the truth or a lie?Show Answer

Answer:A lie, because the statement itself says that everything told will be a lie.

10. How did Mark legally marry three women in Michigan, without divorcing any of them, becoming legally separated, or any of them dying?Show Answer

Answer:It’s a part of his job – he’s a justice of the peace.

11. The paragraph below is very unusual. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? “Gatsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hill’s manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day’s traffic had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honor got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway’s night shopping crowds. Gatsby, walking towards that group, saw a young girl, back toward him, just finishing a long, soulful oration … ” The above passage is taken from the book “Gatsby” written by Ernest Vincent Wright in the late 1930s.Show Answer

Answer:Letter “E” is the most commonly used letter in English language, yet in the whole passage, there is no “E” used.

12. While exploring the wild highlands of Ireland, Robert was captured by goblins. Grumpy, the chief of the goblins told him he was allowed one final statement on which would hinge how he would die. If the statement he made was false, he would be boiled in water. If the statement were true, he would be fried in oil. Sine Robert did not like either option, so he made a statement that forced the goblins to release him. What is the one statement he could make to save himself?Show Answer

Answer:Robert said: “You will boil me in water.” The goblins were faced with a dilemma. If they boil him in water, that would make his statement true, which means he should have been fried in oil. They can only fry him in oil if he makes a true statement, but if they do, it would make his final statement false. The fairies had no way out of their situation so they were forced to set Robert free.

Read more on Hard Riddles – Good Brain Teasers.

Hard Riddles for Kids

For kids, here are some hard riddles to enjoy, along with the answers.

1. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?Show Answer

Answer:A towel

2. What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?Show Answer

Answer:A stamp

3. Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?Show Answer

Answer:The word “wholesome”

4. There are two dogs sitting on a porch – one dog is fat and one is thin. The little dog is the son of the fat dog, but the fat dog is not the father of the thin dog.Show Answer

Answer:The fat dog is the mother.

5. If it has a quart capacity, how many pennies can you put into an empty piggy bank?Show Answer

Answer:Just one – after that it won’t be empty.

6. If there are three cups of sugar and you take one away, how many do you have?Show Answer

Answer:You have just one – the one you took away.

I hope you enjoyed these riddles and got the answers right without clicking on the Show Answer link. You would have realized that most are hard riddles with simple answers. However, the ones with numbers are hard riddles for adults and older kids. If you had fun solving them, continue to keep your mind sharp and agile with more riddles, puzzles and crafts.

3 Top Reasons You Should Protect Your Child’s Hearing

Hearing loss in on the rise in young children in today’s society. For lots of different reasons, a large number of people are choosing to be proactive to help protect their child’s hearing. What reasons can you come up with that would make you think as to why more people in general are deciding to start protecting their child’s hearing? Everyone’s thought processes are different. Have you ever really thought about it? Some people do it as a protection instinct and some may do it to help enhance their child’s academic abilities. There are so many different reasons as to why someone would choose to protect their child’s hearing it’s an endless combination.

Have you ever thought about all of the reasons why you would want to be proactive to help protect your child’s hearing? In order to make the best possible decision about whether or not you should consider protecting your baby’s hearing, think about these three factors:

First, did you know that studies are showing that mild hearing loss is affecting children in school and causing them to have lower academic scores? I am sure you are probably thinking so what, hearing loss is part of nature and there isn’t much you can do about it when your child is a baby. You have a really great point, and you are partially correct, but I want to make sure you are aware that there are some great companies now that are trying to combat some of these issues and are making some awesome products to help reduce noise induced hearing loss in children.

Second, mild hearing loss is causing many children to have lowered self esteem levels. In addition to that, they won’t be as motivated to learn new activities in school or participate in some activities for fear of failure. Also they have a higher chance at developing anxiety because of these issues, which can cause them to spiral down further while they are in school.

Third, children that have hearing loss can be socially awkward . This means they can have a really hard time making new friends and feel like they don’t fit in with anyone, causing them to have all kinds of issues. This just proves that you should really consider trying to prevent hearing loss in your child or baby before any permanent damage is done!

I feel like these are very good reasons to favor being proactive in preventing hearing loss in your child, don’t you agree? After taking all of these reasons into consideration, a case could definitely be made as to why it is so important on being proactive in trying to protect your child’s hearing while they are young by using various methods to prevent hearing loss such as using noise reduction earmuffs for children.

I Wish My Husband Would Listen to Me – Ways to Make Him More Attentive

I wish my husband would listen to me.” Obviously there isn’t a married woman anywhere who wants to hear herself saying that. It’s frustrating when your spouse always seems to ignore you. How often have you been talking to him only to realize that he hasn’t heard a word you said? Or perhaps he’s more the type that once you’ve explained to him how much you love it when he tells you what he’s feeling, he sits there silently staring at you. It’s challenging to be married to a man who doesn’t respond the way you wish he would. If you want to change that, it’s possible. You just have to know the best approach to get him to pay more attention to you.

There are a lot of feelings that come to the surface when you feel ignored within your marriage. Sadness, anger and a deep sense of frustration are just a few of them. Over time, you’re going to start resenting your husband for his lack of attention. Chances are good that he’s not going to wake up one day to magically change his behavior. That’s why you need to take action. First, you should look at your own approach to communication within the relationship and how you bring things up with your husband.

Most men will cower away when they’re faced with confrontation. Many women don’t realize that’s exactly how their husband views their conversations. If you’ve already got a chip on your shoulder because you feel your spouse is ignoring you, you may begin the conversation with a negative attitude. He’ll pick up on that and it will impact his next move. He may pull back and stop listening as a defense mechanism. He doesn’t want to engage in an argument so he avoids it completely by blocking you out.

That’s why it’s essential that you consider how you begin your conversations. You have to refrain from using an accusatory tone with your spouse. Instead, let him know what you feel and then ask his thoughts. Keep it calm and civil. Don’t jump out of the gate by pointing the finger of blame at him for what you’re feeling.

Also, timing is crucial when you talk with your husband. Some men get so absorbed in what they’re doing at any given moment that they just can’t divide their attention. If you’re talking to him when he’s watching television or doing household chores, he’s likely not going to give you his full attention. When that happens you naturally take that personally. Instead, pick a time when you two are just sitting together quietly. Early in the morning at breakfast or during dinner are both good times. Keep things relaxed and don’t try to tackle all your issues at once. Bring things up slowly and calmly and he’ll be much more attentive.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.


You don’t have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.

Helping Children of Divorce Get Through the Holidays

The holidays can be a tough time when you’re divorced. Normal family traditions have been interrupted, you have to compete with your ex-spouse for the attention of your children, and if you’re still single, loneliness and jealousy can set in. As a parent, you have an added task, and that is getting your children through the holidays in one piece. Children didn’t choose their parents’ divorce and so should not be forced to suffer and pay the consequences for their parents’ mistakes. It can be tough not to let your emotions get in the way of ensuring stability for your kids at the holidays, but if you follow the tips below, it can be done.

Make a Plan and Stick With It

Planning ahead is key to avoiding stress and emotional meltdowns for divorced parents. If you have a custody agreement, stick to it. But if you want to deviate from the custody agreement or don’t have one, talk to your ex-spouse well in advance and plan something both parents can live with it. Then stick with the plan. If the kids need to go to dad’s at 1, don’t wait till 2 to start loading them up. If your kids show up late for the other parent’s Christmas, they will pay the price in terms of loss of time with their parent and residual stress. It can be hard to give up time with your children, but it’s even harder for them if they don’t know what to expect.

Don’t Make Your Child the Decision Maker Just as in families where the parents are married, children go through periods of time where they prefer one parent over another. However, asking your child, “Which parent do you want to spend Christmas with?” is a recipe for hurt feelings. Children who don’t have a preference are likely to feel pressured to make a decision and may end up feeling like no matter what they do they can’t please either parent. Work out an agreement with your ex-spouse beforehand. Talk to your child about what the plan will be and listen to any suggestions they might have, but giving your child too much control over post-divorce holiday decisions puts them in a losing position.

Be Positive You should never badmouth your ex-spouse in front of the kids, but this goes double for the holidays. Christmas time can bring up fantasies of mom and dad getting back together for the kids, and so talking negatively about the other parent is especially hurtful.

If your child is having a particularly hard time with your divorce, focus on some of the positive aspects with them: they get two Christmases; they get to meet new people if one of you has a significant other. Most importantly, emphasize that they have two parents who love and want them very much.

Make Time for Yourself It can be extraordinarily difficult when your kids leave to go to the other parent’s house, so make sure you have time with friends, a dinner, or something else to do lined up. This will help to curb your own resentment, thus making it less likely you will lash out against your spouse. It will also make Christmas more enjoyable and less painful for you!

No matter what you do, do not lose sight of the most important thing here: your children. Ignore old resentments and put away old fights, and focus on giving your children the best Christmas you possibly can. If for whatever reason you will not be seeing your children at Christmas, be sure to talk to them about this and schedule a special Christmas celebration with them for a different day. Ove

Cristine Travis is a Featured Contributor in Women s Health and Dating & Relationships for the Yahoo! Contributor Network. She volunteered as a full time rape crisis counselor for many years, and brings…  View profile

How to Minimize the Damage on Your Kids in a Damaged Relationship

The fighting, the bickering, the name-calling, the selfish actions and the childish reactions…sound like a scene of toddlers at daycare? Nope. I’m talking about the many situations that take place during separation and divorce between two adults. While we all know that a breakup of any relationship is often difficult and heart-wrenching, all too often the adults forget that they’re not the only ones breaking up; their kids are caught in the crossfire and they’re also going through the breakup with you.

While most parents are cognizant of the fact that kids suffer through divorce as well, what many of them fail to realize is that kids don’t see divorce the same way adults do. Children, especially young children, don’t have the ability to comprehend complex adult issues. So while they, too, are going through the separation along with you, they don’t understand much of anything that’s going on, so they rely on you, the parent, to guide them and help them through this rough transition.

With that in mind, you can just imagine how easy it is for some parents to get caught up in their own problems and not think about how their sometimes selfish actions during and after the divorce can negatively impact their children. Therefore it is not uncommon for parents to say things to or around their children about the divorce or their soon-to-be-ex-spouse that they may or may not realize have a negative impact on their kids. Here are some well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning things parents say or talk about around children during or even after a separation:

Fighting about money.Numerous studies have shown that money is the number one reason why couples argue, and many divorced couples site financial troubles as the main, if not the sole, reason for the split. So it’s no surprise that couples who are separated or divorced would fight about money as well. While your ex may not be paying their share of child support or you feel they are not contributing fairly financially to meet your children’s needs, confronting them about it in front of your children will only make your kids feel like a commodity. This is especially true if one parent withholds visitation from the other parent based on a money issue alone (i.e. they aren’t paying support). Likewise it is not OK to tell your child that your financial woes are the fault of the other parent, e.g. “Daddy can’t buy you the toy you want because Mommy takes all his money.”

Divulging the real reason for the separation. OK, so maybe your husband cheated on you with your sister. Or maybe your wife has a debilitating drug addiction and you’ve had enough. Whatever the reason for the separation, your children want and deserve some sort of explanation. But letting them in on every gory detail of the breakup is not only gratuitous, it’s just plain wrong. That’s not to say that you should lie to them, but use an age-appropriate and toned-down response. Going into too much detail is like launching into an astrophysics lecture when your child asks why the sun rises and sets. A good generic response to most situations could be simply, “Mommy and Daddy just aren’t very good friends anymore and being together makes us sad, and we know that when we fight, it makes you sad too, so we decided to not be with each other anymore.” If it’s something like a drug or alcohol problem, you could say, “Daddy just has a problem right now and he’s trying real hard to be a better person, but we decided together that he needed to work on this alone.” If the child(ren) press for a more detailed explanation, give them as much as you feel they can handle (especially older children), but for the most part for smaller children a generalized explanation will suffice.

Name calling. This one is a no-brainer, but it happens so often that it needs to be addressed. We teach our children from the moment they can talk that name calling is just not acceptable behavior. So most likely it will come as a surprise to children when their parents resort to doing just that in a divorce situation. Please keep in mind that while you may not like your soon-to-be-ex (or may even hate them), your child(ren) probably still think they’re the bees knees. So if they hear one parent calling the other a derogatory name or spewing epithets, directly or indirectly, it only serves to confuse the child(ren) and they may cause them to feel guilt about loyalty to one or both parents

Sending “messages” to the other parent. One day my 6-yr-old son randomly proclaimed, “My dad says that men who have long hair are girly-boys.” While this sounds innocent enough, it wasn’t. My boyfriend has long hair and I knew that my ex was trying to send us a message through our son, and his only intent was to harass my boyfriend by proxy. Children are not messengers, and using them for this purpose, either legitimately (by intending to inform the other parent of something) or back-handedly (see example above) is not appropriate. Don’t rely on children to pass along important information to other family members – it’s your responsibility to deliver that kind of information to them directly – and by no means should you say things around them that you just know they will repeat. Children, especially small children, can and will repeat everything they hear, and it is just plain negligent for you to capitalize on this fact to satisfy your own brittle ego.

Forcing responsibility on the child. I have a co-worker who is embroiled in a bitter custody battle with his soon-to-be-ex-wife. She refused to take the kids to school in the morning, claiming it was his responsibility, and he refused the same, claiming it was her responsibility, because they were still in the process of mediation and nothing had been solidly agreed upon. Meanwhile the kids were stuck at her home with no way to get to school. One of the children called him and said that their mom had finally agreed to take them to school, and suddenly in the background he heard her scream, “No I did NOT say that, you tell your father that I am NOT taking you to school!!!”, which subsequently made the child cry. Putting a child in the middle of an argument just because you are trying to make a point is a travesty of parenting. Even if the custody isn’t yet set in stone, remember that your child’s well-being comes well before your overwhelming desire to “be right”.

Telling your child the other parent doesn’t want to see them (even if it’s true). Depending on how the custody played out in court, you may have more placement with your kids than the other parent. This makes it hard for children to understand why they don’t see Daddy as often as they see you, for instance. Or, there may be times when the other parent fails to meet their visitation obligation or misses an anticipated date with your child (such as the other parent promising to take them to the park on Saturday, but they are called into work instead.) When they ask why, don’t be tempted to take a dig at your ex by saying, “I guess Daddy just doesn’t want to spend time with you.” Shedding a negative light on your ex with the sole intention of making yourself look better only hurts the kids. Even if your ex is truly being a deadbeat, it may be difficult to resist the temptation of being honest with your kids about it, but you must. This doesn’t mean you have to lie and constantly cover for your ex, but just like the point about revealing too much information about the separation, you may need to candy-coat it just a little bit by saying something like, “Daddy loves you very much, but something came up and he couldn’t make it.” If your ex is consistently being a jerk, it won’t take your kids long to figure this out on their own, and you’ll have the comfort of knowing you took the high road (and your kids will respect you for it later).

Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. The last thing we want to do as parents is make it any harder on our kids than it has to be. It’s important to always be in tune with your kids’ attitudes and moods, and be sure to make it very clear to them before, during, and after the separation that you’re always available if and when they need to talk, vent, ask questions, or whatever. If you’re found guilty of any of the above “violations”, your children will find it very difficult to come to you when they need help through this trying time. Above all, always make sure your childrens’ needs come before your own and be there to help guide your children through this transition.

E.B. Smart is best known for her snarky one-liners and random daily observations. While she clearly has a well-developed humorous side, beware the things that go bump in the dark night in her sick and twiste…  View profile

Free Marriage Records Texas

Texas was one of the first states to classify marriage records as public information. With 20-plus million residents, marriage records in Texas have built up over the years. Government agencies provide public databases of Texas Marriage Records as a public service and private ones also exist on a commercial basis. The largest databank is at the Texas Vital Statistics Office. It is the state repository of public records and all state marriage records are routinely uploaded to it from respective counties and districts. The office reports into the Department of State Health Services of Texas.

The Texas Vital Statistics Office began officially filing Marriage Records in Texas in 1966 simultaneously with Texas Divorce, Birth and Death Records. There were variations over the various counties and districts especially during the early years but all marriages within the state would ultimately be posted at this office. Erstwhile marriage records in Texas as with other states during that era were administered by the county or district offices where the marriages took place.

Actually, Texas County Marriage Records were already in existence as early as 1837 in some areas of the state. Much of them were lost through accidents and other mishandling over the ages but for those which are still intact, they have been filmed, restored and properly archived. Having that said, the majority of historical database remain pretty much inactive. Predominant public interest mainly centers on the current generations. With advancement in modern data-filing, their records are in far better order.

By token of Texan laws, a great deal of information can be derived from such database. They are public records and everyone has the right to them. People can literally access and assess anyone’s entire marital past and present on demand. Documents such as Marriage License, Certificate and Verification Letter are typical and so are related divorce matters. Particulars of involved parties like parents, witnesses and conducting officers or ministers are also standard information. Marriage records are however not linked between states. As a result, marriages in other states will not show up in a Texas public marriage record search and vice-versa.

Different people will have their own preferred way of conducting marriage record search but the clear-cut favorite is the online method. This is quite expected as it’s convenient, immediate and private. Depending on the needs of the situation, it can even be accomplished free of charge. However, it’s recommended that professional record providers be engaged as their fees are typically very reasonable anyway and the bona-fide ones offer excellent value for money.

Texas Marriage Records are the top public records in the state when it comes to search activity. From background-checking a boyfriend or girlfriend to legal investigation, people are constantly checking out each other and the best thing is it’s done in secrecy. But why not, it’s easy and it’s over in a jiffy for that peace of mind sought ever so often. So it might be a good idea to self-check your marriage records regularly just to be sure that the record is straight, so to speak.

For more in-depth views on How To Access Marriage Records Texas and its associated information, visit Free Marriage Records Online for direct results.

To Break Up or Not to Break Up? that is the Question

It’s weird how life works. How we allow people and situations to stand in the way of our dreams. Our body tells us when a relationship is not healthy but we do not always listen. Why is that? Our intuition is so loud sometimes, yet we turn down the volume. Below you will find some of the answers I get through surveys.

The question is “Why do you stay in a bad relationship”?

  • I don’t want to be lonely.

  • I want to have someone in my life.

  • I don’t want to do things alone.

  • I don’t want to be alone forever.

  • How will I pay the bills on my own?

My question to you is – “Is it worth it”? What is healthier, being in a bad relationship or being alone (lonely)? I want you to ponder that. If you are in a bad or unhealthy relationship right now, think about it. List the pros and cons on a sheet of paper or on your computer. If the cons far outweighs the pros, figure out why you are staying. Shouldn’t you be running as fast as you can? I know it’s not always easy. Sometimes there are children involved or a lot of assets. Maybe you just do not want to hurt the other person so you stay in the relationship and hurt yourself instead.

Getting out of a bad relationship

Getting out of a bad relationship is the same as setting other goals. First you must start with thinking about what you do want out of life. You must set the goal. Begin taking steps, big or small, and then take action.

You now have two choices. Do you want to make this relationship work (is it worth it?) or do you want to move on? Answering that question is the first step. You must make that decision. Once you make that decision it’s time to set some serious goals.

I believe in focusing on the positive. However for this list, you need to first think of some negatives so that they could be changed into positives.

Begin putting a list together of all the things you do not like about your relationship. What drives you over the deep edge? What makes you unhappy or makes you cringe? What makes you know that this relationship is not healthy?

Once you complete the negative list, it’s time for a positive list. What makes you happy in this relationship? What does he/she do that makes you happy? What good qualities does this person possess? What good times do you have together? Do you have the same morals, ethics and values?

This is your pros and cons list aka positives and negatives list.

If you plan on staying and making it work

Go over your negatives (cons) list and really think about everything that is on it. Does it really matter if there is toothpaste splatter all over the sink or mirror? Is the toilet seat being kept up really a major issue? Is the fact that she hangs her pantyhose all over the bathroom a real problem? When he shaves and there are little hairs on the sink top, is that really a reason for breakup? When she asks you to do the same thing over and over again, is that really nagging or have you just not done it yet? Go within and really give thought to the issues and see if they are issues that you could live with. No one will ever be perfect. This, I guarantee you. If he or she does not cause major life issues, and I’m talking about: Is he or she verbally abusive, mean, nasty, downright rude? Are there issues that are even worse? Is there infidelity in the marriage or relationship? Are you going for counseling? I always suggest counseling first because it does help some couples. It is usually the last ditch effort and who knows where it will take you …if it is a relationship worth saving. If the other person is not willing to go for counseling, I’d consider changing your mind about staying unless you know there is a definite chance for improvement without it. I am not telling you to leave your partner, all I am saying is, really, really think about your situation.

Now, if you have decided I’m definitely staying, then here are some steps I would suggest that you to take.

Start by making a list of all of the positive things about this person.

Why did you fall in love with him/her?

What does he/she do that makes you smile?

Is he/she funny?

Is he/she your best friend or at least one of your friends?

What attracted you to this person?

Start writing down all of the positive things from the past and start appreciating all of those things first. This will put you in a great frame of mind for the present. I always tell my people not to think about the past. What I mean is the negative past, but I love the positive aspects of the past, so by all means think about that for this exercise. Leave the negative past right where it is, in the past. That’s the only way this is going to work. Start from this moment on. A relationship filled with grudges can never succeed. The grudges get bigger and bigger as the years go on. If you really want this to work let go of the Ego, let go of Pride. Start from this moment on. Everything that your partner told you that you do not do for them or with them should change NOW! It’s not too late if you both want to make it work.

In the past, I had a partner that I told many times what I needed, and he would not do it. First, he said it was because he couldn’t do it immediately after I asked him because it wouldn’t feel like it was coming from him. Then, when it didn’t happen for three weeks and I commented again, he called this nagging, he said I needed to remind him and it was my fault. I’m here to tell you right now…if you want it to work, listen to the feedback you get from your partner. Have they told you in the past that you don’t appreciate all that they do? Start telling them how much you appreciate them. Have they told you how they just need a little bit of touch every now and then or a hug? Start touching and hugging them. These little things could change your entire relationship. People want to be heard, they also want to be loved. Everyone has a different way of feeling and showing love. I will share that in another article.

Next StepMake a list of all of the things that this person does that you are grateful for. It could be as little as throwing out the garbage or washing the dishes. Or it could be as big as providing for the family and being a great father or mother, being the best housewife or partner. Really think about what you are grateful for. This is a very important step on your journey to happiness. Add what you are grateful for to the things that you loved about your partner from the beginning. I am grateful for ___________.

If you plan on leaving

First make sure that you are positive that this is your decision. Don’t jump to any rash decisions. Weigh out all of the options. Again, the pros and cons/positives and negatives list. Do what’s right for you. Start this very moment thinking about you. Not your spouse, partner or the kids. I know that sounds harsh but you need to take a moment to focus on you. If you don’t you will feel overwhelmed and like there is no way out.

If there is any doubt

If you have any doubt about leaving, this is an exercise that I would suggest you do.

Tony Robbins did something to this effect at a seminar. It definitely had a huge impact on many attendees. We all had our eyes closed and the room was dark. You will be alone so it will be even easier for you. I thought this was a very powerful tool to see a glimpse of the future. I would like you to do something similar. After you read all of this, close your eyes or look at yourself in a mirror and imagine yourself in this relationship 5 years from now. How do you feel? How does your body feel? How is your mind? Take some time to really put yourself there.

Then picture yourself in 10 years from now, 15 and 20. How do you feel? I want you to really concentrate on each time frame for more than a few minutes. Really put yourself there. How do you feel? I know that when I did this exercise years ago, I got a knot in my stomach. I almost felt nauseous and I was crying. I felt more and more unhealthy and unhappy as the years went on in my mind. That’s okay. If that is the case – ask yourself – Is this where I am supposed to be? Is this where you want to be? Do you want to feel like that in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years? Don’t waste your life away if you are not in the right situation. If you feel sick to your stomach, if you are crying, if you feel like this is so wrong then you need to reevaluate where you want to be in life. This doesn’t sound like the person for you. You need to make a change.

You are definitely leaving

If the answer is a surefire yes, that you are leaving, then here are some steps that you will need to take.

Start setting goals.

Find a good lawyer. Find one that will make it a peaceful transition and not cause more trouble within the already unhealthy relationship. You set the ground rules by being fully aware of what you wish to keep and not to keep ahead of time. Be fair, this isn’t a battle. This will help you stand your ground though, in case anyone tries to sway you. You know what you want. You need for this divorce to go the way you want it to go. If that is smoothly that is great.

Do you have enough money to leave now? If not, start saving.

Do you have somewhere to go while in transition? If not, do you know where you want to go or could afford to live? In a furnished room, apartment, townhouse, condo, house, with a relative or friend? Will you stay in your home?

Who will be leaving?

These are all very important things to think about.

Do you have children? If so, how will you handle this situation? Will they be with you ½ the time and the other parent the other ½? Do you want sole custody with visitation rights?

Think about all of these things ahead of time so that when you present this to your lawyer and partner you are totally prepared and ready for any questions and comeback. Don’t leave any room open for “ifs” and “buts” and negative feedback. Let the other person see that you really planned this out and you are serious. It may be a lot of work for you to do alone but it is worth it to have a calmer break up in the end.

Seek counseling

You may decide to seek counseling or hire a Life Coach to get you through the transition. Some people think that break ups can’t be calm. My belief is it is all in the way you present it. If you’re ready to fight – the other person will put on their gloves. If you take a peaceful approach this will sometimes, and I emphasize sometimes, calm the other person down. If not, at least you will have peace within yourself. Sometimes it just takes some time for the other person to see that you are right. Some will never understand why you are leaving and blame you but that should not stop you from leaving. You may have told them about this problem 100+ times and they still don’t know why you are leaving. That’s okay. They may never get it. As long as you do what you need to do to take care of you.

What part do you play in this relationship? Maybe you need to change

Before leaving I would also think about what part you play in this relationship. Do you need some counseling either alone or together? Do you have past issues that interfere with your current situation? Did you pick someone who was wrong for you or is he/she totally right for you and YOU need to change? It’s not always the other person. Men and women have different ways of communicating. Please be sure to look within first. Sometimes, we are the cause of a bad relationship. It’s hard to accept that but it is sometimes true. Please take that into consideration. What could you change that might ultimately change the relationship? Have you tried this yet or are you just running? There are so many things to take into consideration before ending a relationship.

Good luck with your future. I hope that you either stay in a healthy relationship, make a not so good relationship good, or think about whether you want to stay or go, if you are in a bad one. Just be sure to be sure! This is a big decision. Only speak to people who are going to encourage you to do the right thing and be supportive of your choices. Sometimes others will try to talk us into staying in a bad relationship. Sometimes they try to talk us out of a good one. You always want to take others advice into consideration but don’t take it to heart. Review it and keep with you what resonates with you, the rest throw out.

I wish you luck on your journey!

I’m not a relationship expert. This is only my opinion from experiences and learning through Cd’s, books, friends, family and people I surveyed. I wish you luck on your

Marion is a Freelance Writer , Self Empowerment Coach, Certified Personal Trainer and Fitness Counselor. She does Angel/Fairy/Goddess Card Intuitive Readings. Her main focus is on overall personal developmen…  View profile

What To Do With A Man Who Has Commitment Phobia

There are some men who make women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them, and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out. They have a great fear of getting tied to a single woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationships never have fairytale endings; instead they are littered with heartbreaks.

These men suffer from commitment phobia, a fear of committing themselves to one single woman. However, they don’t hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off once the woman talks of marriage.

How to spot a commitment phobe

For any woman it is important to spot commitment phobes – that is men who suffer from commitment phobia — early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly on the ground, and not get swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.

Fortunately, the commitment phobes are very predictable and display several common traits. These are:

1. They have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been brief. The reason, they will charmingly tell you, is that they are yet to come across a woman of their dreams, someone with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are that woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow it hook, line and sinker.

2. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them They will follow you, beseech you, please you, woo you – try every trick in the trade to win you over.

They will even drop hints of long and stable relationships; they will talk of “we” and “us” not “I” and “me”.

3. They will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection. They will make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them. You will find it impossible to resist them, unless you realize what is happening.

However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a different turn the moment you surrender It is not that such men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums; but they are driven by contradictory feelings. They neither want to give up a woman nor want to commit themselves to her. It is a psychological disorder. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and on you.

You will not realize what has happened to your relationship. The same man, who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives. The talk of matrimony will freeze them. Your tears may make them unhappy but it will not move them. It wouldn’t be long before you are left only with memories and tears; the commitment phobe would have moved forward to another woman.

Why do they behave like this

You need not search for reasons for the souring of the relationship. You should also not blame yourself for what has happened. You must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder, and you have become a victim of a person suffering from such a disorder.

According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This may happen because:

1. As a sensitive child, a commitment phobe’s world was torn by a bitter divorce between his parents. He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only bring pain in the long run.

2. Some commitment phobes cannot reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sadness and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died. They therefore grow up with the feeling of not to enter into permanent relationships – relationships that can bring pain on account of the death of a loved one.

3. Some commitment phobes may have been betrayed by those whom they loved. This would have created a mindset of never to give in to a woman again.

How to deal with a commitment phobe

You must realize that you have very few chances of winning a commitment phobe. You must therefore play hard to get. You must refuse to get into bed with him for very often this signals the end of a relationship. Let him feel desperate; let him step up his wooing. But don’t give in.

It is important that you continue to live your own life. You should not allow a commitment phobe to set the pace of your life. You should continue dating other men and act as an independent woman who can live her life on her own. Never make the mistake of playing second fiddle to such men or switching to what-a-wife-would-do mode.

You should not drum excuses for his behavior, or try to convince yourself that he is right and you are wrong. In your mind, you should not become his advocate. You must look at his actions, not his words. Words are easy; they can be lavished with freedom. But it is hard to match them with action.

If possible, you should convince him to see a psychologist. There is always a chance that a psychologist may be able to remove the fears that a commitment phobe has about marital relationships. But this cannot happen in an instant. You have to be patient, aand you have to see how the commitment phobe takes your suggestion or the counseling.

Finally, don’t grieve if your relationship breaks down. Take it in your stride. Treat it as a fun fling that was bound to end this way.

(To know more about commitment phobes read “How to spot a commitment phobic before he breaks your heart! at

3 Top Tips For 5k Beginners


Here are some tips that I found useful when I started off running 5k’s:

1 ) Don’t attempt to much too soon

I was really bad at doing this; I’d always start off being full of enthusiasm, doing too much do too much and either injuring myself or feeling really sore the next day!

I have however learnt my lesson now (it took me long enough) so don’t fall in to the same trap that I did. When starting out your body needs time to adjust. It’s best to just go with what feels natural and don’t push yourself. The results will come in time, and the key thing is to not delay your progress by being demotivated and demoralised because you’re aching or injured.

2) Diet is important

Don’t neglect the importance of diet. Food is essentially fuel for your body. You wouldn’t put dirty petrol in to your expensive car would you? I hope not

The same thing goes for your body; It’s the only one you’ve got and it’s up to you to take care of it. I’m not advocating eating nothing but lentils and green beans as I enjoy junk food as much as anyone, but I enjoy it in moderation (but to be honest I’ve been eating to much of it lately).

So start cutting back a bit and start thinking about what fuel you are providing to your body.

3 ) Getting the truck rolling

Once I’ve taken some time off from exercising then I find it’s really hard to get motivated to start again, but after I’ve actually been doing it for a few days then I find it easy.

I’m sure you’re the same and this is down to “mental inertia”. It’s exactly the same thing as getting a boulder rolling or pushing a truck (you’ve probably seen those World’s Strongest Man competition on TV. The amount of effort that’s need to get these super heavy objects moving is enormous, but once they’re rolling it looks easy), it takes a lot of effort and energy to get started but once it’s going it’s easy to maintain the momentum.

Now, how do we get momentum? In Tim Ferriss’ latest book The 4-Hour Body (a brilliant book by the way), it talks about the experience of the Nike+ team (Nike+ is a tool for recording your running statistics, time, speed etc, which works with your iPod). By looking at the data of more than 1.2 million users, once someone exercises for 5 sessions they are massively more likely to carry on than somebody who does less than 5 sessions.

So get your running shoes on and get out there at least 5 times in the next week and half and form that positive habit.

I hope these tips help you with your goal of how to run a 5k,

All the best,


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