A Marriage Suffering Through a Terrible Crisis

Divorce causes cause havoc in a person’s life and when there is a child or children involved it can be worse for everyone. A wife/husband must come to a realization she/he has to walk out of a marriage when there’s cheating, abuse, mental torture, and mistreatments. The longer a person stays in the marriage, the more pain and suffering they’ll have to endure. People who do not leave a bad marriage ends up losing their self-respect, self-confidence, self-esteem, and they’ll end up dying a little every day and being left with a troubled mind.

I can attest to the above paragraph because my first marriage was a terrible mistake and I have no-one to blame but my inexperience as a young woman. I had been shielded throughout my life from anything pertaining to night life, drinking, carousing, abuse, cheating, lying, and mistreatments. I had never lived in a cit; therefore, I was an innocent girl put out to the wolves when I accepted a job in the Washington, D.C. area.

I was taught a man is the head of a household and a marriage is sacred and everything should be tried in the marriage before a divorce is ever to be considered. Needless to say, I married someone who was all of the thing listed in paragraph 2. I was mistreated, cheated on, lied to, married to a heavy drinker, and other misfortunes. I tried in everyway to make the marriage work but when my ex started “not” bringing home a paycheck, I had to find a place for my baby and I to live.

When there is a child or children in a marriage, it’s hard to give up on a marriage because the parent tries to hold it together for the sack of their child/children. It’s hard for them to come to a point where they will want a parent to leave or get a divorce. They love their parents regardless of what a parent does and they do not want their parents to separate or divorce for fear they’ll lose out on a parent.

It was important to me that I not allow my child to sway my decision to end my marriage. Take note, cruelty in a marriage rarely ever stops, and it does affect even the smallest of children. A lack of a decision to end a marriage can have serious adverse effects for them. To this day, my daughter has never seen her Dad since she was about three years old. He’s never had any contact with her and I’m sure this has had a big affect on her life. The smallest of children watch and hear more than parents realize; rest assured, they’re aware a parent is suffering from beatings, cheating, lying, mental abuse, and various types of mistreatments. It’s not a secret to them and it’s written all over their tiny faces, regardless of their age, when the abuser is around.

Children try to hide their feelings from their parent’s and this causes it to fester in their mind and cause hate and resentment to build-up until the child/children begins to lash out. This also causes them to have a lack of self-esteem, self-confidence, the ability to express love and have concern for others, and the ability to trust other people.

I was a woman/man who was in a marriage and I knew it would never last but I had to accept it and move on with my life. A decision for a parent to remain only equals punishment and loss of self-worth for the person receiving the abuse. I “still” suffer scars from that first mistake in my life.

If you’re a woman/man who is suffering through a rough marriage, it’s time to take an analysis of the situation before there’s a major breakdown in your situation. When a person comes to the conclusion the marriage will never work, walk away, and seek the advice of a counselor and a lawyer. There’s lots of help in our society today, and may I suggest, you seek it.

Let go of all of the hurt and pain harbored within and face your next steps with a feeling of having freedom. Go and celebrate the feelings of being free from daily aggravations, beatings, cheating, lying, wrong-doings, dishonesty, abuse, and all the misfortunes you have suffered during the marriage.

Once I had the courage to walk away from the mistreatment and abuse, I started to regain my self-confidence and self-esteem and I was able to move on in my life. I saw a healing almost immediately because I was free from the abuse and pain. Yes, I did find “true love” and I was blessed with a wonderful husband and father to my children.

This article written by Barbara Ann Smith & It’s Her Own Opinion – Copyright 2012

Photograph Images & Copyrights as follows:

1. wikimedia commons/Antoine Taveneaux

2. sxc.hu/Billy Alexander

3. sxc.hu/glendali

4. sxc.hu/Lusi

Barbara Kasey Smith was raised in a small coal-camp in West Virginia. When she was old enough to be aware of the hard life of a coal miner s daughter, she began realizing many things in life is not fair for…  View profile

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