Are You Like Constant Dripping?
Are You Like Constant Dripping
“A nagging wife is as annoying as the constant dripping on a rainy
day. Trying to stop her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or
hold something with greased hands” Proverbs 27: 15-16 (NIV).
It’s a fact, a nagging wife is not only annoying, but you can’t stop her complaints either. In addition a nagging wife could send her husband out of the house, read Proverbs 21:9: “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife” (ESV).
So, we should stop right there and not even try right? Wrong!
Please read on to see if you recognise yourself in this and follow on to the solution. Note: although we are focusing on a nagging wife, there are instances where this applies to a husband.
Whilst you cannot stop her complaints, notwithstanding, she can be changed, how, you ask? You cannot allow her to draw you in with her nagging instead if you must answer, do so without antagonising the Issue:
“Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone” Proverbs 25:15 (NIV).
Most especially for the Christian nag who wants to change, there are biblical rules for overcoming the underlying problem which is generally rooted in anger and a desire to control.
“Why am I so angry?”
“What do I hope to achieve by my nagging?”
“Is there another way I can get my point across without anger or sarcasm?”
“Do I like to be like the constant sound of dripping?”
“Is my intention to drive my husband out of our home?”
“Am I ready to live with the consequences of my nagging?”
“What am I trying to change and why?”
For a start the bible tells us what fruits (behaviour) we should exhibit as Christian, so this will be our guideline. Galatians 5:22 -26 (NIV): “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”
Also, throughout the bible there are numerous scriptures warning us about anger. Here are a few:
James 1:19-21: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you” (NIV).
Ecclesiastes 7:9: “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
If you’re a nag, you may have justified your actions, but biblically you really have no excuse. You have to afford your husband or wife (if you’re the nag) some respect in the way you treat them and chose your words when you speak to them. It is possible, as you may have had to do this in an office environment and given respect to someone you didn’t even like. Therefore, if you can do it to others, your spouse is worthy of more honour.
You don’t have to take the advice given here, after all we already know you cannot be stopped the bible scripture above in Proverbs 27 confirms that, however there are repercussions you will have to live with you may not have considered, which are:
Disobedience to God’s word has consequences you will not like nor be able to control;
Driving a wedge between yourself and spouse that may never be repaired;
You become annoying and an irritation to your spouse and others;
Destruction of your love and marriage;
Repeating the mistakes of your parents you were possibly trying to avoid?
No one else may be able to change you, but you can transform yourself to become more Christlike and loveable whilst still getting your point across. If you feel you are justified in your rant pray about it asking God’s help as you make positive changes, nagging changes nothing, prayer however, changes everything. Focus on changing your own actions and reactions as you cannot and should not try to change another, it’s not your job, God is better at it!
Think about it.
Eruvwu Obuaya is the founder and editor of Love Nurture, an organisation which seeks to build stronger families through it’s functions, magazines and the investment arm – Love Nurture Investment. Eruvwu is also author of Anchored Assurance, a novel about faith, hope and endurance in difficult times. Eruvwu’s writes extensively on family and financial and business investments. For more on Love Nurture visit her website to pick up complimentary copies of the Love Nurture Magazine and marriage report today. For her more visit her website: http://www.lovenurture.com