Author Archives: bridiemecleodson

How Do You Figure the Cost of Charter Jet Travel per Air Mile?

It is relatively easy to figure the cost of charter jet travel and you only need to use simple mathematical equations to figure out the total travel cost per mile.

Charter Jet Expenses

If you plan to use a private or charter jet for personal or business purposes, it is best to come up with a computation on the total cost of charter jet travel to decide if this cost is worth the travel time and speed in reaching your desired destination. It would be unfair to presume the total cost of charter jet travel is similar to that of a car, as an airplane will use more fuel over a given distance. But take into account the speed in which you traverse the sky and the drastically reduced travel time you have to endure, and using a charter jet might prove to be a reliable solution for all your air travel needs.

Understand the fact that the total cost will depend on a variety of factors, such as the intended destination or distance and the kind of aircraft that you wish to use. Fuel prices are also an important factor to consider because no matter how near or far your destination may be, the aircraft needs to consume fuel and the higher price will lead to higher costs as well.

Cost of Charter Jet Travel

There are a lot of charter jets to choose from and a charter company will offer you a wide array of choices when it comes to selecting the aircraft for your air travel. As mentioned above, the type of aircraft that you prefer will be a determining factor in figuring out the cost of charter air travel. Let us use the Cessna Citation X as an example. The Citation X is a revolutionary super midsize jet that can carry 8 to 9 passengers in near Mach 1 speeds. The Cessna official website states that the cost per mile rating of the Citation X is around $5.77, given the price of fuel at the $5.50 per gallon mark. The cost of operation is rated at an average of $2,704 per hour. But these facts are based on actual ownership and do not reflect the current prices for charter jet travel.

Charter jet companies charge around $3,950 for a one way trip using the Citation X, with a round trip cost of around $4,600. This figure applies to a minimum of 2 hours jet travel when renting the airplane. A quick example would be a non stop flight from Los Angeles to New York. If you were to fly a commercial airplane, it would take you at least 5 to 8 hours, probably including the waiting times at the airport, at a cost of around $200 to $300 for a roundtrip ticket. A chartered Cessna Citation X will yield a cost of around $20,000 for the same destination flying non stop. The all inclusive figure includes on-flight catering services as standard and will only take an average of 4 hours. The cost per mile is then computed by: Total Cost of Charter / Distance Travelled

$20,000 / 2462 miles (distance from LA to New York) = $8.12 per mile

Conclusion

It is clear that bearing the cost of charter jet travel is reserved for the moneyed folk or the fast rising R&B and hip hop stars of the music industry. But if speed and comfort is of the utomost concern, then nothing comes close to chartering a jet for your next personal or business endeavor. The luxurious cabin appointments and impressive space will lead you to believe that this is the best way to traverse the friendly skies. It is important to know that chartering a jet is considerably more expensive due to the convenience features that it is capable of offering without the usual costs (depreciation, hiring a pilot, aircraft maintenance, etc.) associated with aircraft ownership.

Resources and Image Credits

Resources:

newflightcharters.com blogs.forbes.com

Image Credits:

cessna.com

http://www.brighthub.com/science/aviation/articles/105139.aspx

To Break Up or Not to Break Up? that is the Question

It’s weird how life works. How we allow people and situations to stand in the way of our dreams. Our body tells us when a relationship is not healthy but we do not always listen. Why is that? Our intuition is so loud sometimes, yet we turn down the volume. Below you will find some of the answers I get through surveys.

The question is “Why do you stay in a bad relationship”?

  • I don’t want to be lonely.

  • I want to have someone in my life.

  • I don’t want to do things alone.

  • I don’t want to be alone forever.

  • How will I pay the bills on my own?

My question to you is – “Is it worth it”? What is healthier, being in a bad relationship or being alone (lonely)? I want you to ponder that. If you are in a bad or unhealthy relationship right now, think about it. List the pros and cons on a sheet of paper or on your computer. If the cons far outweighs the pros, figure out why you are staying. Shouldn’t you be running as fast as you can? I know it’s not always easy. Sometimes there are children involved or a lot of assets. Maybe you just do not want to hurt the other person so you stay in the relationship and hurt yourself instead.

Getting out of a bad relationship

Getting out of a bad relationship is the same as setting other goals. First you must start with thinking about what you do want out of life. You must set the goal. Begin taking steps, big or small, and then take action.

You now have two choices. Do you want to make this relationship work (is it worth it?) or do you want to move on? Answering that question is the first step. You must make that decision. Once you make that decision it’s time to set some serious goals.

I believe in focusing on the positive. However for this list, you need to first think of some negatives so that they could be changed into positives.

Begin putting a list together of all the things you do not like about your relationship. What drives you over the deep edge? What makes you unhappy or makes you cringe? What makes you know that this relationship is not healthy?

Once you complete the negative list, it’s time for a positive list. What makes you happy in this relationship? What does he/she do that makes you happy? What good qualities does this person possess? What good times do you have together? Do you have the same morals, ethics and values?

This is your pros and cons list aka positives and negatives list.

If you plan on staying and making it work

Go over your negatives (cons) list and really think about everything that is on it. Does it really matter if there is toothpaste splatter all over the sink or mirror? Is the toilet seat being kept up really a major issue? Is the fact that she hangs her pantyhose all over the bathroom a real problem? When he shaves and there are little hairs on the sink top, is that really a reason for breakup? When she asks you to do the same thing over and over again, is that really nagging or have you just not done it yet? Go within and really give thought to the issues and see if they are issues that you could live with. No one will ever be perfect. This, I guarantee you. If he or she does not cause major life issues, and I’m talking about: Is he or she verbally abusive, mean, nasty, downright rude? Are there issues that are even worse? Is there infidelity in the marriage or relationship? Are you going for counseling? I always suggest counseling first because it does help some couples. It is usually the last ditch effort and who knows where it will take you …if it is a relationship worth saving. If the other person is not willing to go for counseling, I’d consider changing your mind about staying unless you know there is a definite chance for improvement without it. I am not telling you to leave your partner, all I am saying is, really, really think about your situation.

Now, if you have decided I’m definitely staying, then here are some steps I would suggest that you to take.

Start by making a list of all of the positive things about this person.

Why did you fall in love with him/her?

What does he/she do that makes you smile?

Is he/she funny?

Is he/she your best friend or at least one of your friends?

What attracted you to this person?

Start writing down all of the positive things from the past and start appreciating all of those things first. This will put you in a great frame of mind for the present. I always tell my people not to think about the past. What I mean is the negative past, but I love the positive aspects of the past, so by all means think about that for this exercise. Leave the negative past right where it is, in the past. That’s the only way this is going to work. Start from this moment on. A relationship filled with grudges can never succeed. The grudges get bigger and bigger as the years go on. If you really want this to work let go of the Ego, let go of Pride. Start from this moment on. Everything that your partner told you that you do not do for them or with them should change NOW! It’s not too late if you both want to make it work.

In the past, I had a partner that I told many times what I needed, and he would not do it. First, he said it was because he couldn’t do it immediately after I asked him because it wouldn’t feel like it was coming from him. Then, when it didn’t happen for three weeks and I commented again, he called this nagging, he said I needed to remind him and it was my fault. I’m here to tell you right now…if you want it to work, listen to the feedback you get from your partner. Have they told you in the past that you don’t appreciate all that they do? Start telling them how much you appreciate them. Have they told you how they just need a little bit of touch every now and then or a hug? Start touching and hugging them. These little things could change your entire relationship. People want to be heard, they also want to be loved. Everyone has a different way of feeling and showing love. I will share that in another article.

Next StepMake a list of all of the things that this person does that you are grateful for. It could be as little as throwing out the garbage or washing the dishes. Or it could be as big as providing for the family and being a great father or mother, being the best housewife or partner. Really think about what you are grateful for. This is a very important step on your journey to happiness. Add what you are grateful for to the things that you loved about your partner from the beginning. I am grateful for ___________.

If you plan on leaving

First make sure that you are positive that this is your decision. Don’t jump to any rash decisions. Weigh out all of the options. Again, the pros and cons/positives and negatives list. Do what’s right for you. Start this very moment thinking about you. Not your spouse, partner or the kids. I know that sounds harsh but you need to take a moment to focus on you. If you don’t you will feel overwhelmed and like there is no way out.

If there is any doubt

If you have any doubt about leaving, this is an exercise that I would suggest you do.

Tony Robbins did something to this effect at a seminar. It definitely had a huge impact on many attendees. We all had our eyes closed and the room was dark. You will be alone so it will be even easier for you. I thought this was a very powerful tool to see a glimpse of the future. I would like you to do something similar. After you read all of this, close your eyes or look at yourself in a mirror and imagine yourself in this relationship 5 years from now. How do you feel? How does your body feel? How is your mind? Take some time to really put yourself there.

Then picture yourself in 10 years from now, 15 and 20. How do you feel? I want you to really concentrate on each time frame for more than a few minutes. Really put yourself there. How do you feel? I know that when I did this exercise years ago, I got a knot in my stomach. I almost felt nauseous and I was crying. I felt more and more unhealthy and unhappy as the years went on in my mind. That’s okay. If that is the case – ask yourself – Is this where I am supposed to be? Is this where you want to be? Do you want to feel like that in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years? Don’t waste your life away if you are not in the right situation. If you feel sick to your stomach, if you are crying, if you feel like this is so wrong then you need to reevaluate where you want to be in life. This doesn’t sound like the person for you. You need to make a change.

You are definitely leaving

If the answer is a surefire yes, that you are leaving, then here are some steps that you will need to take.

Start setting goals.

Find a good lawyer. Find one that will make it a peaceful transition and not cause more trouble within the already unhealthy relationship. You set the ground rules by being fully aware of what you wish to keep and not to keep ahead of time. Be fair, this isn’t a battle. This will help you stand your ground though, in case anyone tries to sway you. You know what you want. You need for this divorce to go the way you want it to go. If that is smoothly that is great.

Do you have enough money to leave now? If not, start saving.

Do you have somewhere to go while in transition? If not, do you know where you want to go or could afford to live? In a furnished room, apartment, townhouse, condo, house, with a relative or friend? Will you stay in your home?

Who will be leaving?

These are all very important things to think about.

Do you have children? If so, how will you handle this situation? Will they be with you ½ the time and the other parent the other ½? Do you want sole custody with visitation rights?

Think about all of these things ahead of time so that when you present this to your lawyer and partner you are totally prepared and ready for any questions and comeback. Don’t leave any room open for “ifs” and “buts” and negative feedback. Let the other person see that you really planned this out and you are serious. It may be a lot of work for you to do alone but it is worth it to have a calmer break up in the end.

Seek counseling

You may decide to seek counseling or hire a Life Coach to get you through the transition. Some people think that break ups can’t be calm. My belief is it is all in the way you present it. If you’re ready to fight – the other person will put on their gloves. If you take a peaceful approach this will sometimes, and I emphasize sometimes, calm the other person down. If not, at least you will have peace within yourself. Sometimes it just takes some time for the other person to see that you are right. Some will never understand why you are leaving and blame you but that should not stop you from leaving. You may have told them about this problem 100+ times and they still don’t know why you are leaving. That’s okay. They may never get it. As long as you do what you need to do to take care of you.

What part do you play in this relationship? Maybe you need to change

Before leaving I would also think about what part you play in this relationship. Do you need some counseling either alone or together? Do you have past issues that interfere with your current situation? Did you pick someone who was wrong for you or is he/she totally right for you and YOU need to change? It’s not always the other person. Men and women have different ways of communicating. Please be sure to look within first. Sometimes, we are the cause of a bad relationship. It’s hard to accept that but it is sometimes true. Please take that into consideration. What could you change that might ultimately change the relationship? Have you tried this yet or are you just running? There are so many things to take into consideration before ending a relationship.

Good luck with your future. I hope that you either stay in a healthy relationship, make a not so good relationship good, or think about whether you want to stay or go, if you are in a bad one. Just be sure to be sure! This is a big decision. Only speak to people who are going to encourage you to do the right thing and be supportive of your choices. Sometimes others will try to talk us into staying in a bad relationship. Sometimes they try to talk us out of a good one. You always want to take others advice into consideration but don’t take it to heart. Review it and keep with you what resonates with you, the rest throw out.

I wish you luck on your journey!

I’m not a relationship expert. This is only my opinion from experiences and learning through Cd’s, books, friends, family and people I surveyed. I wish you luck on your

Marion is a Freelance Writer , Self Empowerment Coach, Certified Personal Trainer and Fitness Counselor. She does Angel/Fairy/Goddess Card Intuitive Readings. Her main focus is on overall personal developmen…  View profile

How To Talk To A Man – Five Secrets Every Woman Should Know

Do you know how to talk to your man? Is your boyfriend the silent type, not telling you what he thinks or feels? When you ask him questions and try to get him to open up, does he seem to go farther away? Is he confused about what you want from him?

Talking to men can be difficult if you don’t understand how they are wired. Even if your guy is the talkative type, he still may not be good at sharing thoughts, feelings, or sentiments that are of any depth. Would you like to know the five secrets in how to talk to a man? Here are some facts that may surprise you and guide you:

1. You cannot talk to men the way you talk to other women.

Women are almost always ready to share. If you woke your girlfriend up at three in the morning to tell her the details of your fight with your boyfriend, she could tune into what you are saying in about five seconds. Conversely, if you woke your boyfriend up to tell him anything important, it would be the equivalent of a bee sting. He would be jolted, disoriented, and a little mad. He would need twenty minutes to regroup and hear what you are saying.

SECRET #1: Don’t approach men for conversation when they are not in an approach mode. Give them time and opportunity to be able to listen to you. They want to be there for you and give you what you need, but you have to understand that they need to have distractions removed, time to focus on the conversation, and a clear and defined understanding of what you want from them.

2. Men have been programmed for centuries to take care of the family.

When you take any complaint to him, even if you are only crying because your hair came out green instead of blonde, he unconsciously thinks it is his fault. If a man feels he is not taking good care of you, (and complaints are translated into thinking you are not happy with him,) he experiences tremendous physiological discomfort. He hears your problem as HIS failure. Withdrawal is his protection in these situations.

SECRET #2: Don’t misinterpret the silent male or underestimate how much you mean to him. He is highly vulnerable to you.

3. Men do not heal from emotional wounds as well as women do.

Who cares more for their lover, men or women? If you answered men do, you would be right. In general, after divorce, men re-marry sooner than women do, don’t live as long as their ex-wife does, and their suicide levels go up more. When a man sees silence in the relationship, he thinks everything is fine. However, if a woman is not talking, she is probably planning to leave. Only 50% of men in a troubled relationship know there is a problem. The rest say they never saw the breakup coming.

SECRET #3: You give meaning to your guy’s life. You matter far more to him than either of you realize. Be careful and kind with your words.

4. Men relate to other people better by doing activities with them.

Women get a chemical hit from talking. Men do not experience this rush of feeling good when they are talking to someone. They often feel that words get in the way of experiencing the moment. Men get a rush of good feelings when they are taking action or are engaged in physical activity. They also love to share activities with their favorite woman.

SECRET #4: Find at least one activity that you both have a passion for and do it together. This strengthens your bond and gives him a sense of success.

5. Men love routine.

Men take comfort in routine. To change schedules, plans, or even homes, is upsetting for him. He wants his time to be free from turmoil so he can hyper focus and concentrate on taking care of his work, and ultimately, the family.

SECRET #5: Build some loving routines together. You might think that you are both just wordlessly watching TV, while he might see that activity as part of your togetherness. Predictable patterns in your relationship keep him grounded.

The above five secrets can change the level of happiness in your relationship. Add kindness and nurturing, and if you have chosen a good guy, you will have a new best friend. This is how you talk to a man.

Visit http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

17 Things You Must Do In Custody Court

It is your day in Custody Court. You are about to prove what a miserable person your ex is. Everything is about to go your way. Are you really sure of that?

The judge has never seen either of you before. This will hardly be the first or last custody hearing in their career. You aren’t even the reason the court is in session, it’s about the children. You have a competent attorney, but so does your ex. These next few minutes will decide the future of your children. Are you ready? This hearing will affect your children’s lives for many years. Now, are you really ready?

http://www.infobarrel.com/17_Things_You_Must_Do_In_Custody_Court

Choose Best Sevierville Divorce Lawyer For Divorce Case

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Courteney Cox ‘splits with boyfriend’

Who Dat!

via

The Cougar Town co-stars, who play ex-spouses on the show, have been dating for about six months, although they were linked long before that.

The couple recently decided to call it quits after discovering they weren’t a good fit.

The 49-year-old is said to have confided in actress friend Isla Fisher about the failed romance.

“She told Isla that she and Brian were fighting way too much,” an insider told Star magazine.

Courteney is believed to have started seeing the 44-year-old actor during her divorce from David Arquette.

Apparently the break-up is amicable.

“There’s no hard feelings, but she wasn’t into the drama their relationship brought to the table,” the source added.

Brian recently seemed to open up about the pair’s relationship just last month.

He seemed smitten with Courteney at the time.

“Courteney’s amazing,” he smiled. “Courteney’s phenomenal.”

Courteney married David in 1999. The former couple broke up in 2010 and the divorce became final in May of this year although.

They have remained on good terms throughout the split and share a daughter, Coco.

Apparently Brian had won the nine-year-old over.

“The girl was extremely comfortable with Brian,” a witness said about a time Coco visited the Cougar Town set. “She rubbed his belly and laughed. She treated him like a dad or an uncle.”

Courteney has yet to comment on reports of the split.

© Cover Media

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/courteney-cox-splits-boyfriend-203000942.html

Three Steps To Get Your Ex Back After A Breakup

If you have recently broken up with someone you might be wondering if there is a way for you to get them back. Breakups are very difficult to handle and can be devastating to both parties. It is natural for you to want to get back together with someone you care deeply about. This is especially true if you have been together for a while.

It is entirely possible for you to get your ex back. As a matter of fact, it happens a lot more than you think. Most relationships can be fixed and most marriages can be saved. The key is to approach it in the right way and take the right steps.

After a breakup it is normal for you to feel lonely, lost, afraid and disoriented. Breaking up with someone is similar to losing a loved one. The feelings of separation are so strong you feel as if a death has occurred. But before you attempt to fix the relationship you must decide if it is worth saving, if it is really what you want.

Just feeling lonely and lost are not good reasons for you to try to get back together with your ex. Emotions can sometimes hide the real causes behind the breakup. You should take the time to discover what caused the relationship to go south in the first place.

Here are three things you can do if you decide that you really do want to fix your relationship and get back with your ex.

Step One: Take some time to heal.

It is okay to take some time to be by yourself for a while. This will give your mind time to process all that has occurred and allow both you and your ex to calm down and allow the healing process to occur. Understand that you have been hurt and you need this time alone to let your wounds heal.

Many people don’t take the time to do this. After a breakup, they immediately run and jump into another relationship because they don’t want to be alone. Eventually, all they end up doing is taking all that unresolved emotional baggage from the previous relationship with them. Soon or later it will resurface and negatively affect the relationship they’re in now.

Step Two: Understand what went wrong.

This is a critical step and will naturally follow step one when you give yourself time to calm down and heal. There was a point in time when your relationship began to fall apart. There might have been red flags that you ignored that eventually caused things to go bad. It is usually the little things that occur over a long period of time that have the greatest impact on things.

Once you figure out what went wrong and how and when it occurred, you will be in a better position to figure out how to go about fixing it.

Step Three: Fools rush in.

If and when you do decide to try to get back with your ex, don’t rush things. Don’t expect things to immediately be the way they used to be. Things have changed. You and your ex have changed. Traumatic emotional experiences tend to do that to people. Feelings have been hurt. Trust has been destroyed. It will take a while to restore these things. Sometimes it will be like starting the relationship all over again. Don’t fight it. This could be a good thing. So take it slow and allow things to develop at their own pace.

http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/three-steps-to-get-your-ex-back-after-a-breakup

Know Your Rights About Spousal Support

But before you re-watch The First Wives Club and begin your vengeful plotting, it may be a good idea to become informed as to the kind of benefits or spousal support to which you are entitled. Keep in mind that not all divorces or separations involve spousal support. In fact, current statistics state that only about 10 to 15 percent end with a spousal support judgment. The statistics change for child support, which is a different ballgame altogether. You might have thought it was the other way around, but not everyone is married to Lionel Richie.

Divorce laws vary by state, so you must first meet the residency requirements of the area in which you live. You must also have “grounds” (a legally acceptable reason) to end your marriage according to your state’s divorce laws. Once divorce papers are filed by one spouse and sent to the other, the receiving spouse, if they disagree, has the opportunity to file papers telling his/ her side. This is called “contesting the divorce.” Financial issues can often stall the process. However, property division and spousal support are sometimes settled out of court. Custody and child support may be decided as part of your divorce if not already handled in family court. For more information, check out the various websites listed below. So, what is Spousal Support?

Spousal Support is the payment or transfer of money (or assets) from one spouse to another after a divorce. You may be more familiar with the phrases “prenuptial agreement” (which may contain clauses to provide or exclude spousal support) “alimony,” or “permanent maintenance.” The laws associated with spousal support seek to prevent a divorced spouse from suffering due to a diminished standard of living. It is not unusual for one spouse to have been out of the workforce for such a significant amount of time that it would be difficult for him/ her to quickly attain a job or professional position in order to maintain his/ her standard of living after the divorce. There are other possible reasons for seeking spousal support and some are stated below. Your attorney can help you determine which, if any, apply to you. In general, The United States Supreme Court has held that both former husbands and wives are able to receive spousal support payments. It is no longer just a man seeking a way to “buy his way out of the marriage.” More information is available at www.divorcesupport.com.

The PRENUP

A prenuptial agreement is a written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms for retention of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of property, and division of the aforementioned should the marriage end. These agreements are fairly common if either or both parties have substantial assets, children from a prior marriage, potential inheritances, or high incomes. Sometimes people shy away from prenuptial agreements, but marriage itself is a legal contract. If you have considerable assets, protecting yourself with a prenuptial agreement may be highly beneficial. If you are getting divorced and have a prenuptial agreement, bring it to your attorney for a thorough review.

Temporary Maintenance vs. Permanent Maintenance

There are two main types of spousal support that can be received at the end of a divorce: temporary maintenance and permanent maintenance. Temporary maintenance is often dispersed to a recipient in the form of Alimony. This is money paid from one spouse to another for day-to-day support of the spouse who has fewer financial resources. Sometimes alimony also can be used to pay back a debt.

On the other hand, courts can award permanent spousal support to provide money for a spouse who cannot become economically independent and/or desires or requires maintaining a lifestyle that the court considers appropriate given the resources of the parties. Common reasons for ordering permanent maintenance include advanced age, chronic illness, or inherent inability of the recipient to have “earning power” comparable to that of the more prosperous spouse. Although this form of support is termed “permanent”, the level of support can change or cease depending on the changing circumstances of either the payer or the recipient. Spousal support generally ends if the recipient remarries and may also end if the recipient lives with someone else.

The new trend of Alimony

In the past, most alimony awards provided for payments to former wives by “breadwinning” former husbands. As the American culture has changed, today most marriages include two wage earners. Women are viewed as less dependent, and men are often more likely to be primary parents. The courts and spousal support awards have kept up with the times. The tradition of men paying and women receiving spousal support is slowly retreating, and orders of alimony payments from ex-wife to ex-husband are on the rise.

A major final issue…do you need a lawyer to procure your assets?

The law does not require you to have a lawyer, but, generally speaking, it is better to have one, if at all possible, during a divorce. A lawyer has far more expertise and legal knowledge regarding the issues of child custody, child support, financial support, and division of marital property. A good lawyer can help you protect your assets while investigating those of your spouse to ensure full disclosure.

That being said, hiring a divorce lawyer can get expensive. But like many things, you could end up paying more if you are not well advised, particularly if your situation is complex. For simpler circumstances, particularly if the divorce is going amicably, you might choose to use a divorce mediator instead to avoid escalating hostilities. You can find more information at www.womenslaw.org as well as www.divorcenet.com.

Additional information

Disclaimer: Please note that I am not a lawyer and do not endorse the services of the websites and information I refer to in this article. I am NOT offering legal advice and provide these links and the material in this article for your information as a journalist ONLY.

The following links may provide helpful information about divorce and spousal support:

http://www.divorcesupport.com

Http://www.findlaw.com

Http://www.womenslaw.org

http://www.divorcenet.com

http://dictionary.law.com

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4 Ways to Deal With a Breakup and Get Over it Fast

Breaking up is hard to do. It can be hard even if you are the initiator or if you are the one being dumped. Why are they so hard? First, if you are the one being dumped, the pain you feel can be enormous. Second, if you are the initiator, it’s the feeling of change that can be hard to deal with. Suddenly being alone can be difficult to deal with; leaving some to feel it will never end… the loneliness.

However, there is hope because there are ways to reduce the suffering you are feeling, allowing you to move on with life. So how can you get over a breakup? There are 4 steps to help you recover.

Step (1) Be Patient –

Have you ever heard the patience is a virtue? Well, when you are dealing with a breakup this is true. You should have patience with the feelings you have, your grief and the pain. If you want, scream, cry, pitch a fit, do what you must. However, don’t think for one minute those feelings will last. Have patience that it will pass. As time passes, you may realize that the pain, hurt and anger are gone. This allows you to face life without past baggage. In saying that, don’t rush right into a relationship after you discovered your pain has vanished. Instead, wait to find someone special and have patience that it will happen.

Step (2) Be Flexible –

Have you ever faced this scenario before: It’s a Monday and you’ve been asked by friends to go out on Friday evening? You plan all week for it and then Friday comes around, you just don’t feel like going out. Try to make plans flexible. If you can listen to what your emotions and body are telling you. Be patient in that when you are ready, you’ll get out more. A good exercise to help heal the pain is writing. Place all your emotions and feelings there.

Step (3) Give It Time –

Remember to give yourself time to get over your relationship. Some friends may tell you get out and go mingle. However, what’s actually best is to grief, cry, and be sad or angry. Feel these emotions to work through the moods. You should be out of the funk within two weeks. If it goes past that, talk with your physician about it. You could be suffering from depression. Try talking with someone who cares for you too. It helps too!

Step (4) Have Faith –

Remember that the feelings you have now do not last. You will smile again where you cry now. You’ll find someone who will make you forget your ex and make you wonder why you even cried over them in the first place. What do you need to have? Have a little faith, that is.

You know you have been hurt and NOW you need to Forget Your Ex and all those bad memories, painful experience of your ex once and for all by visiting get over your ex

Divorce Recovery & Resistance to Change – How to Sabotage Your Divorce Recovery without Even Trying

Recovery from divorce requires us to make changes in our lives. Lots of changes. No big surprise here. For example, divorce almost always forces us to make changes in our relationships, our finances, our living arrangements, our health-related activities, our self-development, and our recreational and social activities.

The logical prescription to speed our transition from being unhappily married to happily unmarried is straightforward: make the necessary changes ASAP! No problem. Why, then, don’t we do it? Why are we universally reluctant to do the obvious and make the changes that would improve our life after divorce?

The answer? RESISTANCE TO CHANGE! Resistance to change is our reluctance to make a positive change because of personal reasons.

1. A Personal Example

What I did when my first marriage ended is an example of how resistance to change prevents us from making a swift and smooth recovery from divorce. After eight years of marriage, my wife and I agreed it was over. We had tried several things to save it – couples counseling, communication training weekends, couples retreats, individual therapy. These efforts only served to reinforce our belief that a divorce was the right thing to do. Even though a judge had not signed any paper yet, the harsh reality was the marriage was over.

2. Three Ways Resistance to Change Can Ruin Your Divorce Recovery

Three things prevented me from moving on and making my recovery from divorce.

(1) FEAR – I was afraid of an unknown future.

(2) LOSS – I did not want to lose my “perfect life fantasy” of being married “til death do us part” with a loving wife and living with two wonderful daughters.

(3) SKILLS – I did not believe I had the ability to live successfully as a single man. These three things illustrate the three causes of resistance to change, which had me firmly in its grasp.

3. Cause #1 of Resistance to Change – Fear of an Unknown Future

I could not guarantee my future would be happy. I could not guarantee that I would meet someone new. My disaster fantasy was that I would never find true love again and would live alone and lonely the rest of my life. This fear paralyzed me and prevented me from moving into the next chapter of my life.

4. Cause #2 of Resistance to Change – Distress Over Loss

Moving on meant I would lose daily access to my two daughters. It also meant I would lose the stability of a daily living routine. But most importantly, it meant I would lose the hopes, dreams, and assumptions about our family I had been collecting ever since my wife and I met.

For example, I had hoped my family would last forever. I had assumed I would be involved daily in my daughters’ lives. I had dreamed of growing old with my wife. My parents were married 67 years, so why not me too? Taking the active steps to recover would force me to admit that these hopes, dreams, and assumptions were shattered. The loss seemed more than I could handle. Hence, I put off moving on and thereby delayed my recovery from divorce.

5. Cause #3 of Resistance to Change – Uncertainty over the Operational Aspects

Logic-based resistance to change reflects our reluctance to make a change because we do not understand or agree with the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and/or How of the change. My logic-based resistance was based partly in my uncertainty about some How’s and Who’s of dating.

I had not dated for over nine years. I was convinced I would not be able to date without thoroughly embarrassing myself. I was stuck on such issues as ‘ “How do you date?” “Who will I date?’ “Where will I find people to date?” As long as I pretended I did not have to take control of my divorce recovery, I did not have to confront my ineptitude with dating.

6. So How Can You Use This?

One fact exists, resistance to change happens to EVERYONE. It will happen to you. Be aware of its causes and be alert to your fears, your reactions to loss, and your confusion over the operational nuts and bolts of making a recovery. It’s all about taking the next step. Making the next change. You can be paralyzed by resistance to change as I was, or you can confront the resistance and dissolve it, thus enabling you to get on with the next chapter in your life.

Some questions to ask yourself that will help guide you on your recovery might include – What about the future do you fear today? What about “how things used to be” are hard for you to give up? Are you confident that you have the skills and knowledge to make your recovery?

http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1543.shtml

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