Destination Divorce – Coping With The Breakup Of A Marriage
Coping with the breakup of a marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever do. You’ve spent years building a relationship with one person. This person was supposed to be with you for the rest of your life. But now you find yourself in divorce court. Your kids are upset and confused, and you feel responsible. But there’s no need to.
Life changes and so do our lives to accommodate our immediate needs as well as the needs of those we love. Because you feel responsible for the breakup of your family, people often blame themselves. Now is not the time to place blame on you. It is time to attend to your children’s needs, to help them understand that it is not their fault.
But while you try to help you kids cope, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. If you’re marriage is breaking up, now is the time to lean on family and friends that love you. They are your greatest support system; they are the ones who know your past and have the clearest vision for your future.
Focus on you
Remind yourself that you are important, and so is your happiness. Realize that you have every right to live a life that makes you happy. You are not selfish to leave. During the breakup of a marriage, it’s easy to let people’s opinions cloud your emotions. You may hear things like, “I told you the marriage would never work.”
Statements like this are hurtful and can leave you feeling stupid. But you are not. Try to ignore them and remind yourself that you made the best decision for yourself and your family. Exposing your family, and especially children, to a toxic relationship can negatively affect them and cause emotional problems later on. Some couples stay together for the kids. This is one of the worst things you can do, as it makes you miserable.
Eventually, your negativity may be noticed by or projected onto your children. And that’s simply not fair to you or your family.
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