Divorce And Children
The divorce rate in America and around the world is extremely high, and the figures show that about fifty percent of the married couples are divorcing from all the strata of society. In every religious or non- religious group is the divorce stigma. Parents worry most about the negative effects that divorce will have on their children. Divorce brings relief to some spouses, while for others it is like a nightmare. Parents are so hurt sometimes, that apart from God, only their children can offer some security and comfort.
To witness two parents severing their relationship because of infidelity or for other reasons is difficult for children. Divorce can be painful after years of togetherness. For children to hear about a forever separation of their parents brings hurt, tears, sadness, disappointment and anger. To sign the divorce papers and pay the attorney’s fees are relatively easy, but what about helping the children to adjust to the trauma of divorce. Children are emotionally shocked and are so devastated by this unpleasant affair and many of them never recover.
In order to help children to adjust to this divorce problem would be an unenvious task. No matter the pain that the parents are encountering they need to display genuine love to their children, and pursue a path of real peace between themselves. Most times parents who are steering through this unknown experience for the first time would encounter problems. During this transitional process of divorce, children have to be reassured that they can depend on their parents for love, support, care and protection.
Children can be helped to deal sensibly with this separation issue. They must know the true reason for the severance of their parents’ marriage from the lips both parents. Parents should organize a frank and open discussion and explanation in the presence of their children at a suitable time. This is difficult to do, but must be done. Here,in the spirit of unity, no confrontation, parents are to be forthright in explaining the reasons for ending their relationship. This should be done in a peaceful and forgiving manner. All the truths must be declared with total honesty, and in an atomsphere saturated with friendliness and love, so that the children would know, without a doubt, that their parental love for them is unchangeable.
Many children feel the impact of the termination of their parents’ marriage. As a result of this, children respond in different ways. Some , are deeply aggrieved and become very resentful, refusing to take instruction, and are glaringly obstinate. In most cases their school work suffer. They are unable to sleep at nights and are stressed and depressed to the point where outside help would be needed.
Children look to their parents as role models and divorce causes an erosion of trust. Later in life, kids become fearful of marital relationship as the reminisce of their past experiences. This sometimes contribute to children prefering to live single lives, or just living in cohabitation after becoming adults.
Most children would like to see a reunion between their parents. For the stability of the home, and to ease the pain and hurt, parents can forgive one another and reconcile their differences. They can settle their divorce, and children and parents can work together to achieve real compatibility.