Divorce And The In-Laws
Getting divorced is a time that is considered very sensitive for most. This is not something that many people look forward to and in fact it can be something that is very disruptive to their lives. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with the in-laws.
When you are dealing with the divorce and all the family members that you are now going to be divided from, you will have to take a well thought out approach to it. You may or may not be having a good relationship with them. It is hard to figure out what you are able to do and what is right. You need to dig down deep inside yourself and figure out what type of person you are going to be.
If your in-laws have never done anything wrong to you, you owe them respect. You do not need to sever your ties with them just because you and your ex do not get along anymore. In fact, many people still see their in-laws on a regular basis because of children that are involved or just because they have a special relationship with them. You do not have to make this time a difficult one and in fact it can be good for everyone involved.
You should make sure that you are communicating with your in laws right from the start. If you have a good relationship make sure that you are expressing your love towards them. You want to them to know that you still value their love and you still want to be part of their lives. You need to make them aware that you have no intentions on ending the relationship with them just because you and your ex cannot stay married.
If you are someone that has a rough and rocky relationship with your in laws it may be better to end the relationship at least to some degree. You may still have to see them from time to time especially if you have children that they need to keep in contact with, but you do not have to make the visits long or get too involved with the meetings. You can simply consider them acquaintances and you will not have to waste your time trying to be nice to someone that you do not like.
You will see when you are in the middle of a divorce that most of the time the other person’s family is on their side. However, in some cases, you may not have to worry about this problem. You may be able to have a fair and calm divorce and this will allow everyone to remain friends. This is something that is definitely a good thing when it is achieved and it is something that will make both families a little more at ease for all types of family functions.
You need to keep your best interest at heart and the interest of your children as well. If you do have children and you are getting divorced, you need to make sure that you are not taking them from their grandparents and extended family. They did nothing wrong and do not deserve to be punished for any reason. However in some cases, it is not a good idea for the children to be around the in laws. You have to make sure that you know the facts and keep in mind what is best for everyone. You will see that when you do this and if you do make an effort, you will have less tension and live a more peaceful life.
My in-laws kept their distance in support of my ex. This was hard for my children because they loved spending time with one of their uncles and he rarely came around after the divorce. My mother-in-law also was very supportive of her son and so I made all the arrangements for the children to visit their grandmother. I took them there and dropped them off because I knew they wanted to see her. That went on for a few years but as they grew older, the visits diminished. Now, they see their father’s family at Christmas only and they keep in touch through facebook and emails the rest of the year.
Looking back I think I might have tried harder to keep relationships for the children. Easy to say now! I do encourage you to do your best in this regard, for the children.
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