Gay men, straight lives: like a certain governor, many gay men married to women are now coming out, longing to live the life they’ve been missing.

On a second date in the early 1980s, Michael Sklar took his girlfriend to see Bloolips, a popular British show featuring gay men in drag, in Manhattan. Outside the theater his date told him that he seemed remarkably open-minded for a straight man. “That was my moment of opportunity,” Sklar says. “I told her I wasn’t exactly straight. I said, ‘I think I’m societal so·ci·e·tal  


Of or relating to the structure, organization, or functioning of society.

so·cie·tal·ly adv.

Adj.  acceptance that came only with marriage to a woman.

However, with recent advances for gay rights, including the fall of legalization LEGALIZATION. The act of making lawful.

     2. By legalization, is also understood the act by which a judge or competent officer authenticates a record, or other matter, in order that the same may be lawfully read in evidence. Vide Authentication.  of Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center The Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center provides a broad array of services for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Its clinic and on-site pharmacy offers free and low-cost health, mental health, HIV/AIDS medical care and HIV/STD testing and prevention. . “But at a certain point many of these men overcome their own internalized companionship companionship

the faculty possessed by most truly domesticated animals. They are social creatures and have a great need for the companionship of other animals. Animals in groups are quieter and more productive as a rule.  [of our marriage].”

Sklar’s story fits with his age, says David Leddick, author of The Secret Lives of Married Men. He interviewed 40 gay men, age 29 to 88, and broke them into three age groups: 40 and younger; 40 to 50; and 50 or older. People in the younger group were fluid in their treatment of sexuality, he says, and their reasons for getting married varied too greatly to define in simple terms. The middle age group, like Sklar and McGreevey, typically got married for what Leddick terms “socially responsible” reasons: Family and society expected it, so they did it. “And the older group really married for social advancement,” he says. “Many of them married women of wealthy backgrounds whose families made it possible for them to have successful careers. And they had a whole thing about wanting to have children.”

That was Cape Cod Cape Cod, narrow peninsula of glacial origin, 399 sq mi (1,033 sq km), SE Mass., extending 65 mi (105 km) E and N into the Atlantic Ocean. It is generally flat, with sand dunes, low hills, and numerous lakes.  was married right out of college because he wanted a career and a family. And he didn’t identify as gay. “I was attracted to men, and I was attracted to her as well,” he says. “I thought everything would work out just fine, and I very much wanted to have children. We had three.”

Jim made regular trips to New York New York, state, United States

New York, Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of  attended by a lot of gay men,” he says. “I’ll see gay couples and I’ll feel like I should be with them. But a couple of things are holding me back. Somebody’s going to get hurt, and there’s an awful lot of comfort in being married for 22 years. When I project myself into a future without my wife, I get very sad. There’s a lot invested in this marriage. I love my wife. I “always have.” men, straight lives: like a certain governor, many gay men…-a0123077765

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