How to deal with former in-laws
You can divorce your wife or husband but their family is yours ever.
After three marriages, I have a multitude of sisters, brothers, aunts, uncle and cousins. Many of my former in-laws to this this day calls me on a regular base. My first husband and I have been divorce over 22 years, and his mother and I tells all the time. My second husband was not close to his family and I never really have known them. My third husband family let nothing go on in the family without calling me and informing me of every reunion, childbirth, wedding, etc. People tell me that the really crazy part of this is that all my former in-laws get along so very well with each other.
All of my former in-laws claim all of my children. My first mother-in-law, tell everyone that all four of my boys are her grandchildren. My children call everyone grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousin. If the children were in the same school with each other, they would acknowledge that they were relatives and they would stand up for each other. Each of my nine stepchildren calls me mother, and my sons are they brothers.
I do not know if this is the way society look at dealing with former in-laws, but it works for us. I try to make sure that I do not step on anyone toes when dealing with former in-laws. For instead I well not attend an event of my former in-laws, if I know that my former husband well be there with his newly attended. This is because for the most part, I do not want to make the new attended person feel uncomfortable.
My first marriage was very abusive and he I do not communicate in any manner of the word, but his family is very loving and understanding of both of our feelings. They will make sure that neither of us is in an environment that will cause problems. My father-in-law will still drags my off on a, non-catching, fishing trap whenever I am in town.
How to deal with former in-laws depends on the nature of the break up of the relationship and the relationship you had with the in-laws before the up. If there was no relationship between the in-laws in the first place, then you really do not have to deal with them after the break up. If there are children of the relationship, then there should be some type of relation and communication wit former in-laws for the children sake.
If there were good relations between the in-laws before the break up then the relationship should continue. But do not continue a relationship with former in-laws as a way to mess with your exs life. This creates a problem for you when the former in-laws being to feel that you were using them to hurt their family member.
You should deal with former in-laws as family member, just as all family members are not always going to get along, they are still family.