Surviving An Affair – Divorce The Answer?
So, you have been cheated on or suspect you have been and you are wondering if surviving an affair is possible or should you just throw in the towel and get a divorce?
First, divorce might sound like the answer to get away from it all, start over, have a new life, and just positive all around, but in reality divorce is not so simple and a lot of time not so rewarding like you might think such as:
If I can get just get away from him/her for good and not see them anymore then everything will get better. All the pain will disappear and I will find happiness again. So, I will file for divorce and my life will be better.
This all probably sounds like the peace you need and the satisfying answer if everything you are thinking will come true if you just get a divorce. Well sadly, the truth and facts say otherwise and it does not normally turn out this way. Actually, divorce usually never solves all the problems like you probably imagine it. In reality, it is very likely it can create new problems.
There was a study done back in 2002 from the University of Wisconsin’s National Survey of Family and Households called “Does Divorce Make People Happy?” that delivered results that are quite interesting.
The study researched 645 spouses who claimed they were in unhappy marriages and then five years later they were interviewed again.
The following 3 conclusions were gathered:
1. Married couples who got a divorce were not any happier than married couples who stayed married that were also unhappy. Even the spouses who were unhappy and got a divorce and then later on remarried were no happier than the couples who originally stayed married. Even after controlling variables such as age, race, gender, and income this was still true.
2. Symptoms of depression did not decrease for the unhappily married adults that got a divorce, nor did it help with self-esteem issues compared to the couples who stayed married. Again, this was true when controlling the variables race, age, gender, and income.
Now, the very interesting results gathered that you might not want to hear if you are wanting to divorce is:
3. Two-thirds of the unhappy couples that avoided divorce and stayed together wound up happily married five years later. The most surprising thing is the marriages that claimed to be the unhappiest had the biggest turnarounds. A whopping 78% of the couples who first said their marriages were the worst and that avoided divorce ended up very happy after five years.
If you are surprised, don’t worry. I was too. This is very surprising when most people think that divorce will solve all their marriage problems, but think again. If you are deeply considering divorce, have you tried or considered professional help?
Considering divorce is a very big decision. There is more help in the Surviving An Affair program that answers all sorts of questions on How To Survive An Affair. I wish you the best in your decisions.