Tag Archives: diego divorce

Three Steps To Get Your Ex Back After A Breakup

If you have recently broken up with someone you might be wondering if there is a way for you to get them back. Breakups are very difficult to handle and can be devastating to both parties. It is natural for you to want to get back together with someone you care deeply about. This is especially true if you have been together for a while.

It is entirely possible for you to get your ex back. As a matter of fact, it happens a lot more than you think. Most relationships can be fixed and most marriages can be saved. The key is to approach it in the right way and take the right steps.

After a breakup it is normal for you to feel lonely, lost, afraid and disoriented. Breaking up with someone is similar to losing a loved one. The feelings of separation are so strong you feel as if a death has occurred. But before you attempt to fix the relationship you must decide if it is worth saving, if it is really what you want.

Just feeling lonely and lost are not good reasons for you to try to get back together with your ex. Emotions can sometimes hide the real causes behind the breakup. You should take the time to discover what caused the relationship to go south in the first place.

Here are three things you can do if you decide that you really do want to fix your relationship and get back with your ex.

Step One: Take some time to heal.

It is okay to take some time to be by yourself for a while. This will give your mind time to process all that has occurred and allow both you and your ex to calm down and allow the healing process to occur. Understand that you have been hurt and you need this time alone to let your wounds heal.

Many people don’t take the time to do this. After a breakup, they immediately run and jump into another relationship because they don’t want to be alone. Eventually, all they end up doing is taking all that unresolved emotional baggage from the previous relationship with them. Soon or later it will resurface and negatively affect the relationship they’re in now.

Step Two: Understand what went wrong.

This is a critical step and will naturally follow step one when you give yourself time to calm down and heal. There was a point in time when your relationship began to fall apart. There might have been red flags that you ignored that eventually caused things to go bad. It is usually the little things that occur over a long period of time that have the greatest impact on things.

Once you figure out what went wrong and how and when it occurred, you will be in a better position to figure out how to go about fixing it.

Step Three: Fools rush in.

If and when you do decide to try to get back with your ex, don’t rush things. Don’t expect things to immediately be the way they used to be. Things have changed. You and your ex have changed. Traumatic emotional experiences tend to do that to people. Feelings have been hurt. Trust has been destroyed. It will take a while to restore these things. Sometimes it will be like starting the relationship all over again. Don’t fight it. This could be a good thing. So take it slow and allow things to develop at their own pace.

http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/three-steps-to-get-your-ex-back-after-a-breakup

Dating

Dating traditionally is a term to describe two people participating in activities together in order to get to know each other and determine suitability for a more intimate relationship or marriage.

Increasingly, however, it is more of a term that people use to describe a relationship (often but not always involving sexual relations) as having no emotional attachment. A person can be ‘dating’ several people at once.

In this article, we’re going to look at some of the more common terms used to describe dating.

One term that used to be pretty much synonymous with it is courtship – an older (although still practiced in some cultures) version of dating, in which there are usually chaperones, and the meeting itself is typically arranged by a third party (relatives of the couple, generally).

Third parties (although not necessarily family, it’s often through a dating service or friends) can set up ‘blind dates’ in which the two people involved do not previously know each other.

Another activity is ‘speed dating’ in which a group of people come together, and, through a fairly structured method, are systematically paired with each other for a short period of time in order to see if any of the participants make a connection.

Another term widely used is ‘online dating.’ This is where people meet typically through signing up at a third party website and answering a series of questions designed to match people that will be hopefully compatible. This is becoming more and more popular, and the screening methods are becoming more advanced as well.

Something becoming increasingly popular is ‘virtual dating’ in which people spend time on a virtual world interacting with each other via ‘avatars’ (their in-game personas) and perhaps at some point actually start dating in the real world.

There’s also a tendency in recent years towards ‘hook-up’ sites, where people can find others who are just interested in one-night stands or sexual relationships with no emotional ties or commitments.

There are a lot of other dating terms, but these are currently some of the more common ones being used. By exploring this category today you can find out a lot more about the various forms dating can take, and all the different nuances and subtopics that can be involved.

http://www.infobarrel.com/Dating

What Can I Do To Stop My Divorce?

Your wife has just asked for a divorce. More than anything in the world you want to make sure that doesn’t happen. You love your wife and you know that she still loves you. You believe you just need to sit down together and work things out. You know you’ve hurt her in the past and are willing to change. But you don’t know how to even get her to listen to what you have to say. What can you do to stop your divorce? You can’t accept that your marriage is over or that it’s too late for the two of you. What should your next move be?

It isn’t enough to just stop your divorce though. You need to take action to save your marriage too. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. More importantly you need to convince your wife that you’re willing to do that as well. If you can’t make her believe that you’re going to go the extra mile to make your marriage work then there is little you can do to stop your divorce because she’s not going to be feeling it.

Once you make the decision that you want to pull things together and stop your divorce once and for all there are things you can do that will put you on more even footing with your wife. In fact, they may even get your wife to listen to you when she may not have been willing to before. The first thing you need to do is let your wife know how much you appreciate her. Tell her all the things you see now that she does for you to make your life easier and how empty and lonely your life will be without her in it. This alone may not be enough to save your marriage but it can at least get her to think about the possibility of making it work between the two of you.

The next step you need to take is to let your wife know how much you NEED her in your life. This goes beyond your appreciation of the things she does for you and digs deep into the fact that you believe you’re a better man with her than you could ever be on your own. This will get her attention in a big way because more than anything in this world, your wife wants to feel like she’s needed. She needs to be needed by you.

It’s not a major personality overhaul. You don’t have to sacrifice who you are or even really swallow your pride to get your wife’s attention. But if you wait too long to do these things you’ll be trying to get your ex back after the fact instead of trying to stop your divorce.

http://www.streetarticles.com/divorce/what-can-i-do-to-stop-my-divorce

How to know when the time has come for a divorce

If you sit there and wonder about life without your spouse, then this could be one sign, that you are heading for a divorce. If there was nothing wrong with your relationship and you were happy, you would not consider being without your partner. When you are deeply in love and truly happy, it is all about the word ‘we’, but when things start to fuzzle out, it becomes all about the word ‘I’.

Waking up in the morning with the thought that today is just going to be another day and even when your partner leans in for a kiss, nothing shakes you from that feeling, it is not a good sign. Especially if this happens a lot. We all have bad days, but when you have the love of your life by your side, you should be able to see some hope in the day and anything that comes of it.

When you are left at home most of the time on your own, wondering when you will get to spend some special time with your spouse and after a few months, starting to get pretty annoyed because they have not listened to you, this is not the sign of a happy marriage. Maybe you are the partner who likes to go out every night and leaves your other half at home, you should be asking yourself why. Do you not want to spend alone time with your partner, or are you just happy knowing they are there for you when you need them? A marriage needs time with each other as well as time alone. You need to be thoughtful of how your other half may be feeling.

Communication gets hard at times. Have you found yourselves going around in circles? Are you speaking about the same problems time and time again, but not resolving them because no one is listening? Do you find yourself with so much to complain about that you do not know where to begin and so you just keep it all inside until you burst? Are you arguing on a weekly basis, where you are so full of anger that you are not able to speak without raised voices and one of you just walks out to return late and sleep on the sofa? All of this is a sign that you are just not communicating properly and without that, your marriage will fail. Unless one of you pretends to be happy and denys yourself as a person. 

http://www.helium.com/items/1990585-knowing-when-the-time-has-come-for-a-divorce

How Can I Save My Marriage If My Spouse is Asking For a Divorce? – Here is How!

When your marriage is falling apart and you are facing a divorce, it may be difficult to imagine working things out. If you are asking “how can I save my marriage when my spouse is asking for a divorce?” then I want to share my story with you. I too was facing a divorce and it seemed like there was no way out. Here is what happened.

A few years ago I found myself in a situation similar to what you may be facing right now. My wife and I had been having problems for quite awhile, but continued to hang in there. I always thought we’d be together forever and that we’d eventually work things out. So nothing could have shocked and devastated me more than to have her approach me one day and tell me that our marriage was over!

Being totally unprepared to handle this news, I immediately reacted in the only way I knew how. I did and said everything I could think of to try and get her to change her mind. But the harder I worked, the more she pulled away. It actually seemed like my best thinking was making the situation even worse!

Here is what I learned after I ultimately saved my marriage:

1. Avoid the common mistakes that many people make when a marriage is in crisis.

2. Get out of your emotional state and put yourself in a more resourceful state which will enable you to take calm and rational action to save your marriage

3. Dedicate yourself 100% to saving your marriage regardless of who is “at fault.”

4. Be willing to do things that might seem counter-intuitive or even the complete opposite of what you would normally do.

5. Treat your marriage separately from you and your spouse, as almost a 3rd person!

Once I realized that most of what I had been doing was wrong, it made me much more receptive to seeing the marriage in a completely different light. I became open and willing to do what it would take. I stopped blaming my wife and everything else around me. I focused on what needed to be done. Our marriage was saved and our lives are better for it.

The approach I discovered has been so successful that it was featured on Dateline NBC and has nearly a 90% success rate! Sound like something you’d like to see for yourself?

Click Here because your marriage is in trouble right now and you have the power to do something about it! It is guaranteed to work so you have nothing to lose by trying but everything to lose by not trying. This approach worked for me and my wife and has worked for over 60,000 other couples. If we saved our marriages then you can save your marriage too! Good luck to you and your spouse!

Divorce And The In-Laws

Getting divorced is a time that is considered very sensitive for most. This is not something that many people look forward to and in fact it can be something that is very disruptive to their lives. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with the in-laws.

When you are dealing with the divorce and all the family members that you are now going to be divided from, you will have to take a well thought out approach to it. You may or may not be having a good relationship with them. It is hard to figure out what you are able to do and what is right. You need to dig down deep inside yourself and figure out what type of person you are going to be.

If your in-laws have never done anything wrong to you, you owe them respect. You do not need to sever your ties with them just because you and your ex do not get along anymore. In fact, many people still see their in-laws on a regular basis because of children that are involved or just because they have a special relationship with them. You do not have to make this time a difficult one and in fact it can be good for everyone involved.

You should make sure that you are communicating with your in laws right from the start. If you have a good relationship make sure that you are expressing your love towards them. You want to them to know that you still value their love and you still want to be part of their lives. You need to make them aware that you have no intentions on ending the relationship with them just because you and your ex cannot stay married.

If you are someone that has a rough and rocky relationship with your in laws it may be better to end the relationship at least to some degree. You may still have to see them from time to time especially if you have children that they need to keep in contact with, but you do not have to make the visits long or get too involved with the meetings. You can simply consider them acquaintances and you will not have to waste your time trying to be nice to someone that you do not like.

You will see when you are in the middle of a divorce that most of the time the other person’s family is on their side. However, in some cases, you may not have to worry about this problem. You may be able to have a fair and calm divorce and this will allow everyone to remain friends. This is something that is definitely a good thing when it is achieved and it is something that will make both families a little more at ease for all types of family functions.

You need to keep your best interest at heart and the interest of your children as well. If you do have children and you are getting divorced, you need to make sure that you are not taking them from their grandparents and extended family. They did nothing wrong and do not deserve to be punished for any reason. However in some cases, it is not a good idea for the children to be around the in laws. You have to make sure that you know the facts and keep in mind what is best for everyone. You will see that when you do this and if you do make an effort, you will have less tension and live a more peaceful life.

My in-laws kept their distance in support of my ex. This was hard for my children because they loved spending time with one of their uncles and he rarely came around after the divorce. My mother-in-law also was very supportive of her son and so I made all the arrangements for the children to visit their grandmother. I took them there and dropped them off because I knew they wanted to see her. That went on for a few years but as they grew older, the visits diminished. Now, they see their father’s family at Christmas only and they keep in touch through facebook and emails the rest of the year.

Looking back I think I might have tried harder to keep relationships for the children. Easy to say now! I do encourage you to do your best in this regard, for the children.

For articles, audios, videos and resources, join my commYOUnnity of divorced women at http://www.LifeContinuesAfterDivorce.com

How To Know When Divorce Is Right

Several couples who cannot bear the relationship any longer have this lingering question on how to know when divorce is right for them. There is wisdom in knowing when the right time is so that everyone who is affected or might be affected will not experience severe consequences of the failed marriage.

Divorce is a common occurrence in the United States. In fact, statistics have shown that half of the marriages end in divorce in a certain period of time. Even for those who have been through loving relationships, tough times are can still be encountered. But going through hardships within the relationship does not mean the couple has to subject themselves to divorce decisions. Several aspects in marriage can still be resolved, and it is important that the couple decides to invest every effort to save the marriage vow they once declared to the world.

However, for those who are bent on knowing how to know when divorce is right for them, here are questions that need to be answered by them personally. There are no formulas to ascertain that the relationship is subject for divorce. It is only the couple who can be certain about the answers. So before finalizing everything, ask yourself the following questions found below.

How to Know When Divorce is Right

1. Is fight always the solution for every situation that evolves in the relationship, even if the case of the situation is minor?

2. Do you always go back into the hurtful memory lane, not just when fighting, but also during moments when you are talking casually?

3. Does each of you still respect each other? If respect has once been jeopardized, is it still possible to bring back the respect you have for each other?

4. When it comes to goals and dreams, is there a change in yours, yet your partner remains the same? Or is there a change in your partner’s aspirations in life, while yours is stuck up with the status quo?

5. Does your partner by this time overlook your personal growth?

6. Are there major changes in both the values you uphold together, especially those related to moral and ethical values and lifestyle?

7. Have you forgotten to compromise? When arguments abound, do you create a way to meet in the middle?

8. When it comes to sexual compatibility, have you lost the intimacies you once have? Do you feel you are repelled by your spouse’s presence, despite all the counseling sessions and professional therapy you underwent?

9. Do you honestly think that divorce is right this time?

Asking these questions and getting to know when divorce is right is important for every couple who is confused of their relationship. It is ultimately up to you to decide. But such decision should be thought of thoroughly in order to avoid regrets, and to prevent other parties from suffering with the consequences of such action.

http://www.streetarticles.com/divorce/how-to-know-when-divorce-is-right

Divorce Advice Hints

Getting divorced impacts on every area of your life so do not be surprised if you find yourself dealing with challenges outside your area of expertise for parts of your life that you did not think about.

A marriage, especially long term, is usually a collaboration of duties performed by two people to create one family unit, with or without children. These individual chores or duties come about through discussion or osmosis as the marriage develops.

So, in some cases, when a separation or divorce occurs you may be completely unprepared for the roles that you find thrust upon you as home maker, parent, or bread winner. You may not have looked after the monthly bills and have not needed to work out a budget or you may not have so much as boiled an egg in years. These additional challenges on top of dealing with the emotions associated with divorce can cause large amounts of upset, frustration and blame.

Accept the Separation or Divorce

The first step in divorce recovery is to accept that the divorce is a reality. You may not be happy about it, even if you are the one to initiate the proceedings or you feel with a little help the marriage could be saved. This may be true but for the time being you are on your own and must accept this and do everything in your power to make your life as pleasant as possible.

1. Stop talking about your marriage to anyone that will listen

2. Stop whining to people about how hard things are.

Take Responsibility for Your Marriage

The old saying ‘it takes two to tango’ is true of marriage. If you have been taken by surprise by being asked for a divorce then now is the time to look back and ask yourself why you didn’t see that your spouse was unhappy.

Placing blame at this time will only prolong the feelings of grief and hopelessness you are feeling. Taking a proactive look at how you behaved in the marriage and contributed to its disintegration will empower you and stop you from ever making the same mistakes again.

1. Do not play the ‘blame’ game.

2. Question yourself about how you reacted to the situations in your marriage that have effected this change.

3. Also, question yourself about why you picked this spouse in the first place. Accept that you picked this person for your own reasons and these reasons have had an effect on the marriage?

4. How have you changed in the relationship?

Take Responsibility for Today

You are now a single adult living alone. It may not be what you want but it is the way it is so suck it up and get on with it.

Make a long list of all the frustrations you have in your daily life and then make another list with the frustrations as headings and possible solutions to these challenges underneath. For instance, if you do not cook well, you can take a class (with the added benefit of meeting new people), order in prepackaged healthy foods, buy cook books or DVDs, and ask friends or family to teach you fundamentals. The one thing you must not do is eat badly and then blame your ex for the amount of weight you are putting on or use the divorce as an excuse for the amount of weight you are putting on. You are an adult and your food intake is your responsibility, it actually always was even when you were splitting the chores.

The same goes for any other challenge you are having. If you can’t do the budget and bills find someone to teach you, if you can’t decorate your new home find someone to help, if you can’t mow the lawn find someone to help, etc, etc.

It is no longer your ex’s responsibility to do for you and asking will only make the separation process more difficult.

Be Proud of Your New Accomplishments

Every time you learn to do something new celebrate. You will start to find joy in accomplishing these small tasks and feeling like you are getting more empowered and in control. It is how you handle taking control of your life as a single person that will determine how long it takes to move forward in your new life.

You may find yourself still being very sad that your marriage has broke up and that is normal and will take as long as it takes but having total responsibility for the way you now live brings a sense of control.

These divorce advice tips will help you move forward and take responsibility for your life and your happiness so you can create a life for yourself and your family full of optimism and not blame.

If you are going through a divorce or separation and need some simple uncomplicated advice, Nicola has a website just for you, http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com. For divorce coaching [http://www.winyourdivorceworkbook.com].

The San Diego Divorce Lawyers at the Men’s Legal Center Respond to Kansas City Star Article Discussing Study Indicating Money Disagreements a Leading Cause of Divorce

San Diego, California (PRWEB) August 14, 2013

The San Diego divorce attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center have been representing husbands and fathers in several different California family law matters for several years, and the firm handles issues that include divorce, spousal support, property division, child support, child custody, military divorces and high-asset divorce cases. The attorneys at the firm have recently reviewed a study detailed in an article in the Kansas City Star published July 12, 2013, concerning that money-related disputes between spouses and the likelihood that these disputes lead to divorce. They would like the people in the area to become aware of the prevalence of this problem.

The study entitled, “Examining the Relationship between Financial Issues and Divorce,” was published in the Family Relations Journal. It was completed by researchers at Kansas State University and Texas Tech University. The researchers analyzed data from 4,500 married couples that was included in a publication known as the National Survey of Families and Households.

The study found that repeated arguments regarding money and intimacy were the leading causes of marital stress and divorce among women. Financial disputes were the only type of repetitive argument that tended to lead men to consider and ultimately to pursue divorce. The study further found that financial disputes indicated a higher likelihood of divorce regardless of the socioeconomic status of the couple that ultimately decided to end their marriage.

“Money disputes have always been a big problem in marriages and they have always led to heated arguments which over time can wear a couple down and lead them to the decision to end their marriage,” stated Craig Candelore, the founding attorney at the Men’s Legal Center. “People who are experiencing these types of ongoing arguments should work to correct the problem or they will need to prepare themselves for the difficult process of divorce,” added Candelore.

About the Men’s Legal Center

The Men’s Legal Center is a law firm comprised of San Diego divorce lawyers who have been representing clients who have been facing California family law issues that include divorce, support controversies, property division questions and custody challenges. The firm also has attorneys on-hand who have extensive military experience, and therefore, provide representation to those who face military divorce issues and other family law matters while they are members of the military.

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2013/8/prweb11002539.htm