Tag Archives: divorce process

Ten Steps before Filing for Divorce

Seeking a divorce is a difficult decision, emotionally, financially and emotions. Seeking a divorce is a complicated legal matter and there are several steps you should take before filing.

Seeking a divorce is a difficult decision, emotionally, financially and emotions. Seeking a divorce is a complicated legal matter and there are several steps you should take before filing.

Step 1: Ask yourself if you are sure this is what you want

Be absolutely sure this is the path you want to take. Once you announce to your spouse you wish to divorce him or her, there are consequences to the relationship.

Step 2: Talk to an attorney today

Seek advice of a family law attorney immediately. A family law attorney will be able to explain the law, your rights and obligations under the law. Additionally, before you move out of your family home, or sign any agreements or documents, be sure to talk to a family law attorney to protect your rights.

Step 3: Do not try to do it by yourself

Getting a divorce is an expensive process. The expense of going through a divorce can tempt you to try to file on your own. Whether you own property or have children, the divorce process is not one where you want to skimp. A lawyer is a necessary expense. It is worth money in this situation to seek advice form an attorney with expertise in family law.

Step 4: Don’t move out

Do not make the decision to move out of the marital home you share with your spouse without first speaking with a family law attorney. In some jurisdictions moving out can affect your rights to alimony, child support and the home.

Step 5: Have your important documents with you

When you schedule an appointment with a family law attorney to discuss your rights, be sure to have your important financial documents with you to assess the financial situation. This should include a copy of your mortgage documents, tax returns from the past few years, your credit report and any financial documents such as a bank account.

Step 6: Be prepared emotionally

Divorce proceedings take a long time to get through the traditional process. A typical divorce takes several months. Divorce proceedings can take longer depending on the amount of assets. Children also complicate the divorce process as the parties have to agree on parenting and child support. Make sure you are prepared for long haul.

Step 7: Be prepared to be honest

Honesty is necessary in the divorce process. Be prepared to act in an honest manner with your divorce attorney, spouse and children.

Step 8: Seek counseling

Divorce is a difficult emotional process. Be sure to see a counselor so you can help to sort out your emotional issues. Divorce is not just about money. It is also about the emotional toll. Seeing a counselor can help you to deal with anger and other emotional issues.

Step 9: Consider mediation

Traditional divorce litigation takes several months. Divorce via the mediation process can be better for the parties involved because divorce is typically more collaborative. Mediation can also be less expensive that traditional litigation and less expensive.

Step 10: Be nice to your spouse

Try not to bad mouth your spouse, especially in front of the court or in front of your children. While the divorce process can be adversarial, you will likely regret the choice to say inappropriate things about your soon-to-be ex-spouse later.

These are just a few of the steps you should be prepared to take when planning a divorce. Contact a Minnesota family law attorneys today to discuss your rights.

Breaking the News of Divorce to Children

So you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. Divorce alone is a challenging experience. When you add children into the mix, the divorce becomes twice as complicated. How can you explain to your children that their parents will not be together anymore? How will they take it?

You should (if possible) tell your children about the divorce with your spouse present. That isn’t always an option, but it is the best way to do it if you can. When a child hears the news from both parents, it will help them to understand the situation a bit more, and may prevent future grudges against one parent.

Sit the children down for a discussion. Let them know that you have something very important to discuss with them. Don’t break the news to them on a family vacation or a family fun night. This will leave sour memories in their minds. You need to let the children know that this will not be a fun discussion. Help them to understand that it is a serious situation.

It is important to help the children understand that the divorce is in no way, shape, or form their fault. Children will automatically assume that the divorce is because of something that they did or that they could have somehow prevented it. It is your job as the parent to crush those thoughts. Let your children know that nothing that they have done is the cause of the divorce.

Explain to the children exactly what will happen. They need to know that even though mom and dad no longer feel the same way about one another, that in no way affects the way they feel about them. Children need to know that they are still loved and wanted. Explain things from the court situation to custody situations. If one parent will be moving out, tell the children so that they can be prepared.

The most important thing to remember when telling your children about a divorce is to be open to questions. You need to let your children know that you are available to answer any and all questions that they may have. The chances are good that they probably have dozens of questions. They may even feel embarrassed to ask some of them. If you feel they have a question and are trying to avoid asking it, encourage the questions. Ask your child if they have any questions about a certain aspect of the divorce.

Never, ever make the children choose sides. Your situation with your spouse should never come between your children and their relationship with their parent. Never put them in the middle or make them pass messages. Never ask them to spy for you. If you keep love and sensitivity in mind, you will be able to successfully tell your children about the divorce.

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Divorce – 5 First Steps Of Divorce

There are a lot of steps to follow in the divorce process. Below is a list of the 5 first steps that you can anticipate…keep in mind, the whole purpose of the divorce process is to get husband and wife together face to face enough times that they are able to negotiate a full settlement outside of court:

Step #1 – The first step in the divorce process is for you to make up your mind that you are ready to let go of the marriage and move forward with a divorce. Once you know you are ready, call a divorce lawyer. If you do not know a divorce lawyer, just ask a close friend or family member for a referral. Chances are, you know someone who knows of a reputable divorce lawyer. When you call the divorce lawyer, be prepared to provide him with a short summary about the facts of your case and be prepared to schedule an initial interview.

Step #2 – The initial interview will last 30 minutes to 1 hour. At it, you and the divorce lawyer will discuss the facts of your case in detail – you will also discuss the options, short-term strategy for getting the divorce process started, and long-term strategy for resolving each one of the issues either by settlement or by trial. You will be given a copy of an intake sheet (every divorce lawyer has one). The intake sheet will ask you questions about you, your spouse, your children, each item of marital property, and each account that is marital debt. You will take the intake sheet home, fill it out thoroughly and legibly, and then return it to the lawyer’s office.

Step #3 – Once the lawyer has received the completed intake sheet from you, he will begin drafting the initial paperwork. Once the initial paperwork is drafted, the lawyer will then file it at the county court house and ask the judge to schedule the initial court appearance…your divorce will officially be underway at this point.

Step #4 – The initial court appearance is usually just an informal conference. At the conference, you and your spouse will either sit down together and watch a video about helping your children cope with the rigors of divorce or you will meet with the judge and hold an informal conference with the judge about the status of your case. Either way, at the initial court appearance, you and your lawyer will have ample opportunity to meet with your spouse and your spouse’s lawyer to discuss settlement.

Step #5 – If a tentative settlement cannot be reached at the initial court appearance, the matter will be set for hearing in front of the Judge – at the hearing, the judge will resolve the unsettled issues for you.

Tulsa Divorce Lawyer Matt Ingham is the founder and owner of Bulldog Divorce: Law Office of Matt Ingham. If you have questions or comments for Matt, you can contact him by clicking here…or by calling (918) 591-2566.