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How Do I Move On After My Divorce?

It’s been a little while since your divorce was final. You keep hearing from friends and family that it’s time to move on. They mean well. You just don’t think you’re ready to do it. There are too many unresolved feelings going on inside of you right now and you still aren’t sure you’re ready to give up on the dreams you had for your marriage. In your heart and in your head your marriage just isn’t over yet no matter what the divorce papers in your hand might say. How do you move on after my divorce when you’re just not ready to let go?

It happens all the time. In most divorces there is usually one person who didn’t want things to end just yet. That’s the way it happens in almost every relationship ending. A lot of times, marriages could have easily been salvaged with a little time and trying but once lawyers get involved there is a lot of ill will that is created and then driven at breakneck speeds towards the finish lines known as divorce courts. What you need to know though is that divorce court doesn’t have to be the finish line for your marriage. It’s not too late to save your marriage even if it feels like it is.

Of course, there are things you can do, if you are determined to move on after your divorce. You may want your marriage back in your heart but believe in your mind that it’s water under the bridge. If that’s the case for you, you need to get out, about, and active. Your best chances for moving on after a divorce involve meeting someone else or learning to love being with yourself. Humans are social creatures though so if you aren’t looking for ways to get your ex back then you need to find a way to fill up the hours you would have otherwise spent with your ex.

But if you do want to work to resurrect your marriage from the ashes of divorce, it isn’t too late. Even after the lawyers got to you both and had you hurling some pretty hurtful accusations and insinuations in all directions it’s STILL possible to save your marriage after divorce.

You just need to spend a little time coming up with a game plan that is designed to make your relationship work this time around and eliminate a lot of the finger pointing that might have been present in your relationship before. Forgiveness is key though whether you decided to move on after your divorce or you want to get your husband back and work things out.


How Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back – She Is Telling Me She Needs Some Space

How can I get my ex girlfriend back when she needs space? Probably the biggest question guys ask themselves, especially with women-led breakups, because most involve something to do with needing more space. If she is telling you she needs more space in the relationship, she is indirectly telling you she is unhappy with the relationship. This is a common answer given during a breakup, and is usually used to avoid speaking about what is really going on.

When a girl, unfortunately, says she wants space and decides to end the relationship, she is often saying she does not want to be with you, and really does not want to expend the effort to help you understand whats going on in her mind.

Something is usually wrong in the relationship when a woman asks for space. Rather than help you figure out the issues and get the relationship back on track, they would rather walk. If you ever find yourself asking “how can I get my ex girlfriend back when she needs space?”, this is a positive indication that you want to make things better in the relationship and that you still have hope.

It is a pretty clear cut indication that the communication between you has broken down if she needs space. You need to get into her mind and find out what is really bothering her, if you sincerely want to get the relationship working again. Often, this becomes difficult because for whatever reason, she has shut you out, but if you persist you will figure it out. With so many guys asking “how can I get my ex girlfriend back when she needs space?”, it appears to be a common phenomenon and it does have a solution.

If you are trying to rekindle your relationship with your ex girlfriend who is telling you she needs space, just find a way to communicate with her. She will often just be using the needing space story to let you know something is wrong with your relationship with her, and if she will not talk about it, it has to be addressed eventually. Just give her gentle hints you want to still be with her.

Just simply offer to remain a friend and offer companionship, and see how she responds to that. Do not force yourself on her. When she gets comfortable with this friendship, just start slightly inquiring about what went wrong in the relationship, subtle hints are all you need in your conversation with her to find out.

She will open up on her own time, when she is good and ready. Never rush or force things, just use a slow and easy approach and let her find the best way to say what happened. Once the issues are exposed, this gives you the opportunity to resolve them and you get your ex girlfriend back.


Cheap Divorce do it yourself Divorce Divorce how to get Divorced

Divorce can be a very stressful time mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially.  One way to possibly reduce some of the stress and financial burden during this trying time is by filing for divorce without a lawyer. The outcome is the same for, yet the cost is much less.

Many people think that you have to hire a lawyer or go to one of the online lawyers, who will only charge you several hundred dollars to do something that you can do on your own.

I am unsure about all of the states, but in North Carolina I got a divorce for a minimal price. I did all of the work myself and paid less than two-hundred dollars, and it was completely legitimate. When I checked the cost of having my lawyer draw up the paperwork, I found that it would have cost five-hundred dollars more than I actually paid.

If you are one of those people, like many, who are eligible for a divorce, yet cannot afford it, think again. It is possible to get it done for just under $200.

Go to your local library and look (or ask) for a book of legal forms for your state. In it you will find a form labeled, “Absolute Judgement for Divorce”, or something very similar to this. There are two different versions of the form available, one for couples with children, one for childless couples. All you will need to do is make three copies of this form. One copy for yourself, one to be served to your soon-to-be ex, and one to file with the clerk of court. You will need to fill out and have notarized all three copies before you take them to be filed in the county courthouse where you reside.

Most banks will notorize forms for existing customers free of charge. Once the forms are filled out and notorized, you can take them to the clerk of superior court so that they can be filed in your county. There will be a 30 day period in which the defendant will have to contest the divorce, after this time you can set your date to appear to finalize your divorce.

Your ex does not even have to be present to have your divorce granted. In some areas you can even allow the Clerk of Court to grant your divorce and not even have to appear before the Judge.

There are many ways to get a divorce, yet the bottom line I found when checking on the charges is that the court fee never changes, only the lawyer or preparers fee, which is something that you can do for yourself.



Magic of Making Up – Avoiding Divorce

Today, divorce seems to be a trendy cure-all. Couples beleaguered with personal and business difficulties see divorce as an easy solution that is socially acceptable. After the separation. However, the former partners frequently are lonely and depressed.

To avoid divorce by default, be alert to these six snares:

Divorce is not a panacea… It will not cure dissatisfaction with work, a mid-life crisis or a poor self-image. In fact, divorce robs you of a helpmate at your time of greatest need.

Don’t choose divorce because everyone is doing it. A million marriages a year end in divorce court, but because the trail is well worn doesn’t mean that it is necessarily the right way for you…

Avoid words that make separation inevitable. The very mention of the word “divorce” in an argument can shatter the fragile bond of marriage. Its repeated use will certainly destroy even the strongest union.

Don’t allow one mate to precipitate the split through extreme actions. One partner will sometimes behave so inconsiderately that the other is forced to ask for a separation… Then the inconsiderate partner can claim that it was the other’s idea. The best bet is for the abused partner to stand up for the marriage, calling the bluff of the other partner.

Never talk to a divorce lawyer unless both sides are serious. Even an innocent request for legal definitions by one mate can send both partners into warring camps.

Don’t be lured by the glamour of divorce. Today’s pop culture abounds with couples who have made fresh and constructive starts after shredding their previous mates. In the glitter of their personal successes s actors, entertainers, or sports heroes, the divorces of these stars seem to be a beacon of hope to others. Most of these new marriages are successful. however, only if both partners work very hard at making them so

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Breaking the News of Divorce to Children

So you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. Divorce alone is a challenging experience. When you add children into the mix, the divorce becomes twice as complicated. How can you explain to your children that their parents will not be together anymore? How will they take it?

You should (if possible) tell your children about the divorce with your spouse present. That isn’t always an option, but it is the best way to do it if you can. When a child hears the news from both parents, it will help them to understand the situation a bit more, and may prevent future grudges against one parent.

Sit the children down for a discussion. Let them know that you have something very important to discuss with them. Don’t break the news to them on a family vacation or a family fun night. This will leave sour memories in their minds. You need to let the children know that this will not be a fun discussion. Help them to understand that it is a serious situation.

It is important to help the children understand that the divorce is in no way, shape, or form their fault. Children will automatically assume that the divorce is because of something that they did or that they could have somehow prevented it. It is your job as the parent to crush those thoughts. Let your children know that nothing that they have done is the cause of the divorce.

Explain to the children exactly what will happen. They need to know that even though mom and dad no longer feel the same way about one another, that in no way affects the way they feel about them. Children need to know that they are still loved and wanted. Explain things from the court situation to custody situations. If one parent will be moving out, tell the children so that they can be prepared.

The most important thing to remember when telling your children about a divorce is to be open to questions. You need to let your children know that you are available to answer any and all questions that they may have. The chances are good that they probably have dozens of questions. They may even feel embarrassed to ask some of them. If you feel they have a question and are trying to avoid asking it, encourage the questions. Ask your child if they have any questions about a certain aspect of the divorce.

Never, ever make the children choose sides. Your situation with your spouse should never come between your children and their relationship with their parent. Never put them in the middle or make them pass messages. Never ask them to spy for you. If you keep love and sensitivity in mind, you will be able to successfully tell your children about the divorce.

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5 Things You Must Know before Saying ‘I Want A Divorce’

There are ways to go about breaking up that will give you the best chance for a smoother trip through one of life”s most difficult passages. This is an exceedingly sensitive time when it doesn”t take much to stir things up. Fortunately, because we go through this with other couples a few thousand times a year, we know exactly what you can do, and the kinds of things you must avoid, to make breaking up as smooth as possible.

Whether you are a married couple, or have been living together in a long-term committed relationship, breaking up is almost always painful, but the essential thing is to avoid unnecessary pain and cost, much of which can be avoided or minimized if you are careful. It is essential to avoid words and actions that escalate from hurt, fear, and anger to hostility, lawyers, courts, and huge expenses. That would be very hard on you, on your kids if you have any, and devastating to your pocketbook.

For couples who are not married, breaking up presents many of the same challenges. In this discussion, if you replace divorce with breakup and spouse with partner, it will work the same for you. So here are the five things you really need to know before telling your spouse you want to break up:

1. If you decide to separate, don”t do one more thing or say one more word to your spouse until you understand the rest of this article, and have read the other articles listed at the end. The way you announce the decision, or respond to it, will make a huge difference in the way things unwind.

2. The most common cause of conflict in separation and divorce is lack of mutuality in the decision?in other words, both spouses haven”t accepted the idea that you”re breaking up. Ideally, the decision would be arrived at together, but in most cases one spouse decides alone after taking time to think about it, get advice from friends or professionals, process emotions and make plans.

3. Once the decision is made, it is presented to the other spouse as a done deal and the sooner the better. Opportunities to solve problems and possibly save the relationship have been lost. What”s worse, a long, hard divorce is more likely because the first spouse is ready to break up right away while the other spouse is upset and still working through denial and resistance. This person hasn”t had time to process the reality and will be in some kind of emotional upset, in no way ready to discuss details or work out accommodations.

4. This is not a good time to push along on the breakup, even though the first spouse is ready and highly motivated to do so. Moving along too quickly at this point is the root cause of a lot more trouble to follow. If you are the first to decide, you are in a unique and powerful position to affect the future tone of the divorce. By being abrupt and insensitive, you can almost guarantee a bitter, expensive divorce.

5. If you want to encourage a sane resolution of divorce issues, be patient, be sensitive, but most of all, slow down. Give your spouse time to process the changes. Stay positive and as close to your spouse as possible. You can express caring and concern while being firm in your decision. Work with your spouse until you can both accept the fact that going your separate ways is inevitable, and you can both focus on moving forward. This is the best way to break up, and will lead to the best result.

I give you everything you need to further prepare yourself before letting your spouse know you want to break up, in my book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better.

Ed Sherman is a divorce specialist attorney and award-winning author of How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. His books and software have saved millions of people billions of dollars in unnecessary attorney fees. Visit Nolo

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/5 Things You Must Know before Saying ‘I Want A Divorce’-a01073835569

The San Diego Divorce Lawyers at the Men’s Legal Center Respond to Kansas City Star Article Discussing Study Indicating Money Disagreements a Leading Cause of Divorce

San Diego, California (PRWEB) August 14, 2013

The San Diego divorce attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center have been representing husbands and fathers in several different California family law matters for several years, and the firm handles issues that include divorce, spousal support, property division, child support, child custody, military divorces and high-asset divorce cases. The attorneys at the firm have recently reviewed a study detailed in an article in the Kansas City Star published July 12, 2013, concerning that money-related disputes between spouses and the likelihood that these disputes lead to divorce. They would like the people in the area to become aware of the prevalence of this problem.

The study entitled, “Examining the Relationship between Financial Issues and Divorce,” was published in the Family Relations Journal. It was completed by researchers at Kansas State University and Texas Tech University. The researchers analyzed data from 4,500 married couples that was included in a publication known as the National Survey of Families and Households.

The study found that repeated arguments regarding money and intimacy were the leading causes of marital stress and divorce among women. Financial disputes were the only type of repetitive argument that tended to lead men to consider and ultimately to pursue divorce. The study further found that financial disputes indicated a higher likelihood of divorce regardless of the socioeconomic status of the couple that ultimately decided to end their marriage.

“Money disputes have always been a big problem in marriages and they have always led to heated arguments which over time can wear a couple down and lead them to the decision to end their marriage,” stated Craig Candelore, the founding attorney at the Men’s Legal Center. “People who are experiencing these types of ongoing arguments should work to correct the problem or they will need to prepare themselves for the difficult process of divorce,” added Candelore.

About the Men’s Legal Center

The Men’s Legal Center is a law firm comprised of San Diego divorce lawyers who have been representing clients who have been facing California family law issues that include divorce, support controversies, property division questions and custody challenges. The firm also has attorneys on-hand who have extensive military experience, and therefore, provide representation to those who face military divorce issues and other family law matters while they are members of the military.