Tag Archives: legal center


Dating traditionally is a term to describe two people participating in activities together in order to get to know each other and determine suitability for a more intimate relationship or marriage.

Increasingly, however, it is more of a term that people use to describe a relationship (often but not always involving sexual relations) as having no emotional attachment. A person can be ‘dating’ several people at once.

In this article, we’re going to look at some of the more common terms used to describe dating.

One term that used to be pretty much synonymous with it is courtship – an older (although still practiced in some cultures) version of dating, in which there are usually chaperones, and the meeting itself is typically arranged by a third party (relatives of the couple, generally).

Third parties (although not necessarily family, it’s often through a dating service or friends) can set up ‘blind dates’ in which the two people involved do not previously know each other.

Another activity is ‘speed dating’ in which a group of people come together, and, through a fairly structured method, are systematically paired with each other for a short period of time in order to see if any of the participants make a connection.

Another term widely used is ‘online dating.’ This is where people meet typically through signing up at a third party website and answering a series of questions designed to match people that will be hopefully compatible. This is becoming more and more popular, and the screening methods are becoming more advanced as well.

Something becoming increasingly popular is ‘virtual dating’ in which people spend time on a virtual world interacting with each other via ‘avatars’ (their in-game personas) and perhaps at some point actually start dating in the real world.

There’s also a tendency in recent years towards ‘hook-up’ sites, where people can find others who are just interested in one-night stands or sexual relationships with no emotional ties or commitments.

There are a lot of other dating terms, but these are currently some of the more common ones being used. By exploring this category today you can find out a lot more about the various forms dating can take, and all the different nuances and subtopics that can be involved.


Divorce Is Not The Answer: How To Stop Divorce

Marriages take work. Sometimes it can even be difficult and your spouse can take the life out of you. When you’re constantly fighting, when you’re not attracted to your spouse anymore, when you feel neglected, or when an affair happens, the most common thing couples do today is get a divorce. In the United States, when a couple gets married, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that the marriage will end in divorce.

In today’s modern world, people are so busy with their individual lives and careers that taking time to sit down and work on a marriage is no longer an option. Divorce has become so accepted in Western cultures that it has become a normal phase in one’s life. But divorce, no matter how common, is the second most devastating thing to happen to anyone, next to the death of a spouse.

When you decide to get a divorce, you have an idealized vision of what your life will be without that person. You think that your life will be so much better once your spouse is out of your life and you become single again. You hope to find someone else who will love you better and that you’ll live happily ever after. However, the grass is never greener on the other side, contrary to what you might think.

Even if the divorce may be a mutual decision between you and your spouse, it causes a world of chaos and pain to the both of you. If you have kids, you sometimes don’t take their well being into consideration. Divorce affects them as much or even more as it affects you. If you still have love for each other, then maybe divorce is not the answer. All marriages have rough patches, but it doesn’t mean you should give up that easily just because divorce is so available.

Before the documents are filed and before one of you moves out of the house, consider giving the marriage another try. You owe it your past and the love that you once had to at least do something before you make that decision. As soon as you know that your marriage may be heading towards that path, seek help immediately. You can get couples counseling, talk to your pastor or priest, or even seek help from friends and family. Try to remember your good times, look at your old photographs, read your old love letters etc. Do things that will make you remember and feel the love that you once had. And if these don’t work, ask your spouse to put the divorce on hold. Take this time in making your spouse fall in love with you again. Divorce is not only painful and costly, but most of the time it isn’t even necessary.

If you or someone you know is wanting to get back with an ex, or needing help in their relationship before the breakup happens, here is a website that can help The Magic of Making Up

To go directly to the article titled “How Can I Get My Wife To Love Me Again” click this link.

How to Get Over a Break Up

So it’s over. Now what do you do? At a time when things feel helpless, like you won’t ever stop crying or second guessing yourself, what you really need is a guide on how to get over your relationship. Stick with me and we can get you over this hump in a jiffy… or at least make you feel like you can get out of bed today.

We have all been there in our live at one point or another. We feel like there is no possible way that you will ever feel whole again. And no, I am not trying to make anyone sound desperate or pathetic. However, when you give your heart to someone, and it doesn’t work out, there is always a period of second-guessing and being upset (sometimes even to the point of isolating oneself, possibly falling into a rut). I am in no way a doctor or professional… but I’ve been there. Here is a short guide to help get you up, out, and over this relationship crater.

How can I stop crying?

Well, I hate to say this, but it is therapeutic to cry. Crying will release a lot of the tension and stress the ended relationship puts on you. It is a loss, almost as if someone has died. You need to grieve for your loss. There is nothing wrong with sitting with a few friends of family members and just let it out. You may just feel better (what, with all of them telling you how great you are and how you deserve better). Expelling all of that emotion through liquid means may lead to a faster recovery. Bottom line, don’t be ashamed to cry… and yes, I mean you too guys!!

What should I NOT do after a break up?

For starters, please please please do not try to be his/her friend. Make a clean break. It is definitely easier said than done, but when you continue contacting or seeing your ex after the break up, you are headed for heart break all over again. It is virtually impossible to feel good about yourself when your feelings are not reciprocated. Many dumpees feel that if they spend time with the dumper, he/she will realize their true feelings and they will get back together. This rarely happens. Why put yourself through that? Explaining to your ex that the pain is too great right now to be friend is your best option. Maybe in the future the two of you can learn to be friends again, but now is NOT the time to learn your lesson twice. I would recommend deleting your ex’s number out of your phone and blocking him/her from your buddy lists or e-mail accounts. This way, if/when you have a bad night, you won’t be tempted to contact your ex. I would also avoid self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. This coincides with the cell phone number deleting I mentioned earlier. There is nothing worse than waking up hung over and realizing that you drunk dialed him the night before, rambling/crying/blathering on. Like I said… I’ve been there.

Tips to make the best of it

The following are a few tips I have on how to wipe away your relationship blues:

1. Change your environment up a bit. Now I don’t mean join Greenpeace (well… that is still an option I guess), I mean make some changes to your apartment or room. Paint you room a new exotic color. Buy some higher thread count sheets. Box up all mementos and pictures that remind you of your ex. You don’t need to torch them just yet, but get them out of view for a while.

2. Spend some time and money on YOU. Going along with number one, for the next few weeks, do everything within your power (and bank account) to make you feel better.

3. Keep yourself busy. Join something that you never thought you would have had time to do before. Go on a trip. Do little projects around the house. Volunteer (yeah Greenpeace!). The more distractions, them more you will eventually realize that you are doing these things for yourself and not just as an attempt to divert attention away you from thinking about your ex. And, by paying more attention to you and what you need, you may re-discover something that you loved doing or find out more about yourself. In the end you will be happier having been a little self-indulgent during this time.

4. Bond with other singles. Everyone has two groups of friends, the singles and the couples. Spending time with the couples right now may be hard, so don’t be afraid to look up some of your single friends. Even if you may not have spoken to some of them in a while, take this opportunity to go out with some of them on the weekends. You may even renew an old friendship, or get introduced to someone really great through those friends.

5. Write in a journal. As 8th grade as it sounds, it really helps get the frustrations out and gets you to verbalize how you feel and where the relationship went wrong. After a few weeks or months, go back and re-read what you had written. You’ll be surprised how far you have come since then.

To rebound or not to rebound…

Should you rebound? Well many swear by the phrase, “You can’t get over a man (or woman) until you get under another.” Some believe that a harmless fling is the best way to get over an ex. While having another be attracted to you may feel good, it is only superficial. I am no prude, but I tend to believe that after a one night stand, you will feel lonelier than ever after. This of course is just my opinion, however, dating (or having sex) before you are ready can possibly set you back further. Take this time to focus on you and your needs. But is you do decide to date right away, make sure you go easy on the next person you meet. Do not continue unfinished business with this new guy/gal. Projecting your open and unresolved issues to the new person will only lead you down a destructive path. Ergo, don’t date until you have gotten past your last relationship and its issues.

How do I know if I am over my ex?

That is the $64,000 question. A good gauge is when you no longer want to get back together with the person. That, and when the thought of your ex having a relationship (and, gasp, sex) with someone else doesn’t turn your stomach. You may not have to necessarily be “happy” for him/her, but when you are over your ex, you won’t care either way. Now go out there and heal!

Graduate from the University of Michigan. Want to eventually publish a book… will YOU by it? ;-)  View profile

Dealing With Divorce – Keeping Your Ex From Becoming Your Ex

If you are currently dealing with divorce, you can be expected to feel a wide range of different emotions. Depending on what the circumstances of the breakup were you may feel anger, hurt, grief, rage or even, on occasion, happiness or elation. The final two emotions may come as a result to having a divorce finalized and feeling as if you can move past this part in your life.

However, if you are still in love with your spouse, you may want to learn how the tricks of dealing with divorce that can help keep your ex from becoming your ex. Depending on the cause or causes for the divorce and who started the process, you may find this easier or more difficult than you thought. However, there are ways that can get you through this time productively and which may even lead to you keeping the divorce from becoming finalized.

All relationships have reasons why they end, and there is no relationship that has ended solely because of the actions of one partner but not the other. Because you have issues on both sides to work through, you should consider counseling or mediation. Many times the courts will order you to attend sessions with a marital counselor and this is something you should take advantage of.

Counseling is an excellent way for you and your partner to discuss issues that affected your relationship negatively. You should make sure that both of you are comfortable with the person you are speaking with. If both sides do not feel a connection with the counselor, or one spouse thinks that the counselor is unfairly targeting them, they will shut down and an important chance at communication will be lost.

If you are trying to have any chance at maintaining a relationship and preventing the divorce, you need to make sure that you are able to interact with your spouse without arguing. Arguing can rapidly turn bitter and drive an even larger wedge between the two of you. You should try very hard to discuss things in a very calm manner. Mediation can help with that.

Mediation and non-adversarial approaches to divorce are aimed at handling things in a way that may even lead to having the marriage remain solvent. The goal of a mediator is that you will work with them to settle the issues surrounding the divorce including the separation of property, any funds such as child support or alimony, and even child custody agreements. If you can work together to make these decisions, you may often find that it is possible to reclaim some of the love and feeling you once shared and have a much better way of dealing with divorce.

If you find that after counseling and soul searching you are still unable to make the relationship work, you may need to allow the divorce to continue. Dealing with divorce can also mean realizing when a relationship cannot be saved and must be allowed to dissolve so that you and your partner can get on with living a full and productive life.

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How to Become a Florida Mediator: Moving the Mediation Along

At this point in the mediation process, you the mediator have established the introductions of the parties and have developed an agenda for how to proceed. Most likely the parties have agreed on which issue to discuss first. Now what?

It’s time to encourage the parties to consider a variety of ways to help move them along in their dispute. Remember that the parties do not have to come to a resolution in mediation. There may be some cases in which parties prefer to have a court rule in their case. This is their right to do so. Your job is to help them come to whatever determination they are going to reach by considering options as to how to resolve their issues.

Here are a few tips that you as the mediator can offer to your parties to help them achieve a mutually beneficial determination.

People vs. Problem. We may not like the person we are trying to negotiate with. There may always be something we disagree with but if you can encourage the parties to focus on the problem and not the person then negotiation can be successful.

Focus on the specifics of your interest. When parties both want the same thing, find out why they want it. By determining their motives perhaps you can determine that each party can have the same thing utilizing it in different ways. Sometimes it just takes digging below the surface to find out why the parties want what they want.

Lay out a variety of options for your parties to consider before making a decision. Many issues have a solution, however there are also many times a variety of ways to resolve a problem. Your job as mediator is to provide creative solutions for your party to determine the best way to resolve their conflict.

Utilizing these techniques can really help move your party along toward a resolution. If not a resolution then the parties can at least determine where they want to go from here. That is your job as a mediator.

A.J. Cabrera is an author/writer, a Marine Corps veteran and a perpetual student of art, journaling and life. She has written for several national and trade publications and continues to build her library wi…  View profile

The San Diego Divorce Lawyers at the Men’s Legal Center Respond to Kansas City Star Article Discussing Study Indicating Money Disagreements a Leading Cause of Divorce

San Diego, California (PRWEB) August 14, 2013

The San Diego divorce attorneys at the Men’s Legal Center have been representing husbands and fathers in several different California family law matters for several years, and the firm handles issues that include divorce, spousal support, property division, child support, child custody, military divorces and high-asset divorce cases. The attorneys at the firm have recently reviewed a study detailed in an article in the Kansas City Star published July 12, 2013, concerning that money-related disputes between spouses and the likelihood that these disputes lead to divorce. They would like the people in the area to become aware of the prevalence of this problem.

The study entitled, “Examining the Relationship between Financial Issues and Divorce,” was published in the Family Relations Journal. It was completed by researchers at Kansas State University and Texas Tech University. The researchers analyzed data from 4,500 married couples that was included in a publication known as the National Survey of Families and Households.

The study found that repeated arguments regarding money and intimacy were the leading causes of marital stress and divorce among women. Financial disputes were the only type of repetitive argument that tended to lead men to consider and ultimately to pursue divorce. The study further found that financial disputes indicated a higher likelihood of divorce regardless of the socioeconomic status of the couple that ultimately decided to end their marriage.

“Money disputes have always been a big problem in marriages and they have always led to heated arguments which over time can wear a couple down and lead them to the decision to end their marriage,” stated Craig Candelore, the founding attorney at the Men’s Legal Center. “People who are experiencing these types of ongoing arguments should work to correct the problem or they will need to prepare themselves for the difficult process of divorce,” added Candelore.

About the Men’s Legal Center

The Men’s Legal Center is a law firm comprised of San Diego divorce lawyers who have been representing clients who have been facing California family law issues that include divorce, support controversies, property division questions and custody challenges. The firm also has attorneys on-hand who have extensive military experience, and therefore, provide representation to those who face military divorce issues and other family law matters while they are members of the military.