Tag Archives: marriage problems

Why Let Financial Problems Ruin Your Marriage

Is money so hard to understand? Financial problems in a marriage are definitely a true relationship killer and one of the most common marriage problems that unnecessarily result in divorce.

Money matters are quite simple when you think about it. You can either afford something or you can”t and, if you can”t you have two choices, either stop spending money elsewhere or earn more money.

I”m looking for a new car at the moment which has really got me thinking about the number of people who fund such purchases on finance then struggle to make the repayments. Now I can understand the need for a car and that people aren”t always in the position to buy such an expensive item out right, but what does amaze me is the type of vehicles that people buy on finance.

One of my best friends always buys cars on credit and not any old car, cars such as range rovers, mercedes and jaguars, and yet struggles to make monthly mortgage repayments let alone fund the financing on the car. As a family they look at us and envy the fact that we don”t have to worry when an unexpected bill comes in or if we want something we can just go out and buy it without any concern. That”s because we follow the main golden rule for avoiding financial problems in a marriage, we never spend what we haven”t got and we don”t waste money on unnecessary interest repayments.

It”s quite a simple concept really, if we want something that isn”t critical we wait for it, we only buy what we can afford. If we needed to take out finance for a car we would buy something that would do the job but not a luxury vehicle. Have you ever seen how many luxury cars are repossessed and go through the auctions? What a waste, just look at what is lost in the initial deposit and interest and then the cars lost and sold for peanuts to more the financially astute.

Anyway, back to my friends, there marriage is always under strain because financial problems are continually at the forethought of their minds. They never know from one month to another how they will fund the next mortgage payment or car repayment. Petty things get blown out of perspective because stress levels run high which all stems from the financial problems in the marriage. They get upset with each other and yet they are both to blame, they both want what they can”t afford and even though they earn far more than most, with every penny they earn their expectations increase, their spending increases and the financial problems continue.

So many couples let themselves into financial problems just because they choose to ignore money issues, expect them to disappear, resolve themselves without any effort but, just like any other marriage problem financial issues need to be addressed, nipped in the bud before they become out of hand.

Fighting isn”t the answer, arguing doesn”t solve anything and it certainly doesn”t address the real cause of the problem which is all down to supply and demand. In doesn”t really matter how the original problem occurred, why money is now short and why bills can”t be paid and generally the fault doesn”t tend to lie with one person, the question is how soon are you both going to face up to the issue, get your head out of the clouds and start doing something about it.

I was speaking to a friend the other night and he was fighting an issue from a totally different corner from his wife to be, forgetting the whole concept that marriage is all down to team work, working together to resolve anything that life throws at you. When you loose focus, fail to see what really matters in life, start arguing and fighting against each other rather than working together to sort such issues out you start to chip away at the very foundations of what could be a solid relationship.

No matter how your financial problems in your marriage developed, blissful ignorance, credit card happy, making an important financial decision without discussing it or just spending too much every week, you have to now sit down together, focus on the issue at hand, forget what has happened in the past, how you got into the situation in the first place and put all your time and energy into sorting it out.

Don”t blame anyone, don”t go looking for a fight just sit down, detail your spending, detail your earnings and then work out how you close the gap. Support each other through the process, work together towards the same goal which is to learn to live within your means whether that be through working more hours, retraining for a higher paid job, finding opportunities to earn extra cash from home or just accepting you are living outside your means and working out how you can spend less.

Don”t let financial problems cloud your marriage, sort them out before you destroy something very special and live to regret it.

To learn more visit my websites: Save your Marriage (http://www.saveyourmarriage.marriagehealth.com/Financial_Problems_in_a_Marriage.html), Common Marriage Problems (http://www.commonmarriageproblems.marriagehealth.com/Financial_Problems_in_Marriage.html)

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Why Let Financial Problems Ruin Your Marriage-a01073779119

Stop A Marriage Break Up

Do you need marriage help or relationship advice? Plenty of couples today are saying I need to save my marriage, or relationship, before it is too late. Have you tried reading some of the How to save your marriage books? There are plenty of them out there. Some of them can be very helpful. Others try marriage retreats. Some people seek professional counseling but that can be expensive, very time consuming and not always are both parties willing to go. Before divorce, or hopefully a break up you should try to resolve issues before they become problematic. I will offer some tips and advice here that I have found in my research. At the end of this article I will point you in a direction of more specific and detailed information that I am sure will be even more helpful and beneficial for you in saving your relationship.

Relationship break ups are mainly caused by lack of communication between partners and if you want to meet each other’s needs this is imperative more than anything else. If you have been discarded and want to steer clear of these kinds of things, you should find a healthy outlet that will allow you to get over the loss and even win your ex back

This is a trying time for you right now and your emotions dominate your feelings but this is a period you need to work through. Have you worked out why your spouse or partner may have stopped loving you or suppressed their feelings? They may say there’s no love there right now and this is why you need to give them the space they need but meantime, you need to figure out what you did to push them away from you. Obvious reasons that come to mind are infidelity, they have been getting the kind of attention from someone else you’re not giving them, you’ve become too predictable with things like your dress sense never changing, you don’t go out, you are neglecting them or you simply tried to control them and limit their freedom.

Its essential to remember in the midst of all of this that the kids remain your priority, if there are any, and that whatever your ex does or says then you keep the path secure for them, and show your maturity and compassion. So what does keep people together? Well, there is a form of power or attraction that allows two people to get together in the first place. If you can figure out what this was, then that would be an enormous start. It might be that you have drifted apart slowly but surely and just need to pay more attention to your spouse. Of course, it is not that easy for everyone, they might not even be able to pin point what really attracted them.

Often we fail to make time for our partners and when we do, it’s often some stolen moments at the end of a long hard day when we lack the energy to show how much we love and appreciate each other and are just too tired to have any fun. When spouses begin to feel neglected they often start with the subtle plea, a gentle reminder that they feel that they aren’t important any more, that they feel unloved, undervalued and that another of those common marriage problems, boredom with the daily routine has set in.

Healthy communication is key; unhealthy communication can lead to major marriage problems. Sometimes couples experience marriage problems that could be solved if the two could notice their habits and change them. People don’t always make a conscious decision to argue over petty things, nag and be critical, or leave messes for the other to clean, for example. People just get into negative patterns of relating, fall into lazy personal habits, or get into a rut that they perpetuate out of habit.

You have an excellent chance to stop your divorce if you can get your spouse to agree to work out your marriage problems together. I want you to believe that by changing your behavior, you can still save your marriage, even if you are the only one who wants to stay together. . If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be a warning signal of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems all effect sex drive, and doesn’t necessary mean signs of marriage trouble. But if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it is a sign of a marriage issue that needs to be addressed.

In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the principal problem to worsen. It can also lead to an outburst of bottled emotion once it finally comes out.

Avoiding potential issues can be another tells tale sign of marriage problem. When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage problem.

Can you accept that most marriage problems are based on sex and money? It is to your benefit to do so. When you first met, what made you desire you spouse? What made them desire you? Did they dress well for you or you for them? Were you keeping yourself in shape? We are all getting older, but we don’t have to get old. By this I mean, if we take care of ourselves physically and mentally we will stay more attractive to our spouse longer. You should be honest with yourself, should be able to identify the differences in your relationships and try to improve them. If your try to go away from the issues, they will never be solved. Accept the situation as it is and be prepared for the challenges, which may lie ahead. It is said that you cannot fight the enemy that you cannot see. This philosophy is absolutely true in case of marriages. If you feel that your spouse has changed the way of interaction, then find out the reasons behind it. The best solution is to start the conversation with your spouse and give them several opportunities to ‘open up’. Keep your ears and mind open for the subtle hints from his conversation.

Unfortunately, too many marriages end prematurely because people refuse to reach out for help, and/or actually work on the marriage. Marriage problems are a serious issue that you can find help for. Don’t give up without finding help with this. Marriage counseling can be very drawn out and pricey. As another alternative you and. your spouse could even do counseling sessions yourself. Take turns talking about troubles or other topics in the marriage. During this process, it will be necessary to regain trust. Above all else don’t give up hope. Keep an open mind and an open heart. You will find a link here that will take you to another site that will be able to help you with more precise information and techniques to help you in your search for answers to your questions. I wish you good luck and happy futures.

Darrel Morgan is a researcher and online enthusiast who seeks to provide useful information to anyone that may benefit from his findings. The preceding information was gathered for just that purpose. Find your answers at: www.getyourinformationhere.blogspot.com/