Tag Archives: marriage signs

I Wish My Husband Would Listen to Me – Ways to Make Him More Attentive

I wish my husband would listen to me.” Obviously there isn’t a married woman anywhere who wants to hear herself saying that. It’s frustrating when your spouse always seems to ignore you. How often have you been talking to him only to realize that he hasn’t heard a word you said? Or perhaps he’s more the type that once you’ve explained to him how much you love it when he tells you what he’s feeling, he sits there silently staring at you. It’s challenging to be married to a man who doesn’t respond the way you wish he would. If you want to change that, it’s possible. You just have to know the best approach to get him to pay more attention to you.

There are a lot of feelings that come to the surface when you feel ignored within your marriage. Sadness, anger and a deep sense of frustration are just a few of them. Over time, you’re going to start resenting your husband for his lack of attention. Chances are good that he’s not going to wake up one day to magically change his behavior. That’s why you need to take action. First, you should look at your own approach to communication within the relationship and how you bring things up with your husband.

Most men will cower away when they’re faced with confrontation. Many women don’t realize that’s exactly how their husband views their conversations. If you’ve already got a chip on your shoulder because you feel your spouse is ignoring you, you may begin the conversation with a negative attitude. He’ll pick up on that and it will impact his next move. He may pull back and stop listening as a defense mechanism. He doesn’t want to engage in an argument so he avoids it completely by blocking you out.

That’s why it’s essential that you consider how you begin your conversations. You have to refrain from using an accusatory tone with your spouse. Instead, let him know what you feel and then ask his thoughts. Keep it calm and civil. Don’t jump out of the gate by pointing the finger of blame at him for what you’re feeling.

Also, timing is crucial when you talk with your husband. Some men get so absorbed in what they’re doing at any given moment that they just can’t divide their attention. If you’re talking to him when he’s watching television or doing household chores, he’s likely not going to give you his full attention. When that happens you naturally take that personally. Instead, pick a time when you two are just sitting together quietly. Early in the morning at breakfast or during dinner are both good times. Keep things relaxed and don’t try to tackle all your issues at once. Bring things up slowly and calmly and he’ll be much more attentive.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.

 

You don’t have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.

3 Top Tips For 5k Beginners

Hi,

Here are some tips that I found useful when I started off running 5k’s:

1 ) Don’t attempt to much too soon

I was really bad at doing this; I’d always start off being full of enthusiasm, doing too much do too much and either injuring myself or feeling really sore the next day!

I have however learnt my lesson now (it took me long enough) so don’t fall in to the same trap that I did. When starting out your body needs time to adjust. It’s best to just go with what feels natural and don’t push yourself. The results will come in time, and the key thing is to not delay your progress by being demotivated and demoralised because you’re aching or injured.

2) Diet is important

Don’t neglect the importance of diet. Food is essentially fuel for your body. You wouldn’t put dirty petrol in to your expensive car would you? I hope not

The same thing goes for your body; It’s the only one you’ve got and it’s up to you to take care of it. I’m not advocating eating nothing but lentils and green beans as I enjoy junk food as much as anyone, but I enjoy it in moderation (but to be honest I’ve been eating to much of it lately).

So start cutting back a bit and start thinking about what fuel you are providing to your body.

3 ) Getting the truck rolling

Once I’ve taken some time off from exercising then I find it’s really hard to get motivated to start again, but after I’ve actually been doing it for a few days then I find it easy.

I’m sure you’re the same and this is down to “mental inertia”. It’s exactly the same thing as getting a boulder rolling or pushing a truck (you’ve probably seen those World’s Strongest Man competition on TV. The amount of effort that’s need to get these super heavy objects moving is enormous, but once they’re rolling it looks easy), it takes a lot of effort and energy to get started but once it’s going it’s easy to maintain the momentum.

Now, how do we get momentum? In Tim Ferriss’ latest book The 4-Hour Body (a brilliant book by the way), it talks about the experience of the Nike+ team (Nike+ is a tool for recording your running statistics, time, speed etc, which works with your iPod). By looking at the data of more than 1.2 million users, once someone exercises for 5 sessions they are massively more likely to carry on than somebody who does less than 5 sessions.

So get your running shoes on and get out there at least 5 times in the next week and half and form that positive habit.

I hope these tips help you with your goal of how to run a 5k,

All the best,

Matt

http://www.streetarticles.com/running/3-top-tips-for-5k-beginners

7 Divorce Survival Tips for Men Everywhere

Despite many years of trying to make our marriage work, my wife and I finally separated in December 1999. My ensuing seven year divorce did not go well, and to date it represents some of the darkest and saddest days in my life.

The maxim “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” was my daily credo. As the challenges unfolded and I faced ever new and ever awful tests, I grew stronger and more resilient.

The original moping and pathetic “why me?” behaviour was eventually replaced with a sense of purpose, a sense of direction, and an ever growing catalogue of tactics and strategies that any man facing a divorce should know.

Here are seven of my favourite tips:

#1 – Journal Everything: Become a committed to recording facts, figures and events. If you call to speak to your kids – log it. Record the date, the time, the duration and the basic theme of the conversation. Record any thoughts and observations that you had after the call. Better still…

#2 – Record Your Calls: This little gem was a real life saver. Get yourself a small digital recorder and plug it into your main phone. When you get or make a call of any importance, press record and capture the whole thing. You might think this is a little spy-versus-spy, but believe me, it saved my rear when my ex-wife said one thing and then claimed openly something completely different. The audio recording didn’t lie…

#3 – Keep Yourself Healthy: Eat as well as you can, get enough sleep and drink plenty of water. It sounds goofy, but if you are slightly dehydrated, or even a bit tired, you are not as smart as you usually are. Divorce is often times about conflict, and a good ‘attack’ will leave you reeling. If you are healthy and well rested, you stand a better chance of weathering the assault.

#4 – Remember It Does End…Eventually: Your situation is unique so I can’t tell you how long this will last, but I can tell you that it does end. It’s basic physics…

#5 – Don’t Make ‘Guilt’ Based Promises: I don’t know about you, but I felt badly when my marriage failed. Sure it takes two to make it work or fail, and I get that. But I’m human (although my Ex would likely disagree…) and it hurt. When we are in pain – especially emotional pain – we tend to make ‘silly’ promises to make ourselves feel better. Don’t do it! If you have a lawyer on your payroll, they’ll tell you basically the same thing. Emotions are expensive and can cost you more than the moment it took to make that promise.

#6 – Assume Your Ex-Wife Is Smarter Than You: This is one piece of advice that took me a while to swallow. But if you take this to heart, you’ll avoid a lot if issues. You see these tips I just shared with you… assume she knows them all and has ten more of her own and five ‘friends’ tipping her daily. Remember, the system is structured to support the women; it was built this way because historically it needed to. Today there are many men who get a raw deal because of some men’s past behaviours – remember this.

And lastly…

#7 – Keep Your Sense of Humour: They can take the house, they can take the car, they can take the kids and the dog…but they cannot take away your sense of humour. Remember, love is grand…divorce is a hundred grand.

Thank you, thank you very much… I’ll be here all week, try the veal.

James is a popular keynote speaker, published author, and management consultant. Specialties include social media, seo search, and internet marketing automation strategies for business.  View profile

4 Ways to Deal With a Breakup and Get Over it Fast

Breaking up is hard to do. It can be hard even if you are the initiator or if you are the one being dumped. Why are they so hard? First, if you are the one being dumped, the pain you feel can be enormous. Second, if you are the initiator, it’s the feeling of change that can be hard to deal with. Suddenly being alone can be difficult to deal with; leaving some to feel it will never end… the loneliness.

However, there is hope because there are ways to reduce the suffering you are feeling, allowing you to move on with life. So how can you get over a breakup? There are 4 steps to help you recover.

Step (1) Be Patient –

Have you ever heard the patience is a virtue? Well, when you are dealing with a breakup this is true. You should have patience with the feelings you have, your grief and the pain. If you want, scream, cry, pitch a fit, do what you must. However, don’t think for one minute those feelings will last. Have patience that it will pass. As time passes, you may realize that the pain, hurt and anger are gone. This allows you to face life without past baggage. In saying that, don’t rush right into a relationship after you discovered your pain has vanished. Instead, wait to find someone special and have patience that it will happen.

Step (2) Be Flexible –

Have you ever faced this scenario before: It’s a Monday and you’ve been asked by friends to go out on Friday evening? You plan all week for it and then Friday comes around, you just don’t feel like going out. Try to make plans flexible. If you can listen to what your emotions and body are telling you. Be patient in that when you are ready, you’ll get out more. A good exercise to help heal the pain is writing. Place all your emotions and feelings there.

Step (3) Give It Time –

Remember to give yourself time to get over your relationship. Some friends may tell you get out and go mingle. However, what’s actually best is to grief, cry, and be sad or angry. Feel these emotions to work through the moods. You should be out of the funk within two weeks. If it goes past that, talk with your physician about it. You could be suffering from depression. Try talking with someone who cares for you too. It helps too!

Step (4) Have Faith –

Remember that the feelings you have now do not last. You will smile again where you cry now. You’ll find someone who will make you forget your ex and make you wonder why you even cried over them in the first place. What do you need to have? Have a little faith, that is.

You know you have been hurt and NOW you need to Forget Your Ex and all those bad memories, painful experience of your ex once and for all by visiting get over your ex

How Can I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend

When relationships end all of a sudden, typically one or both involved will still doubt that the relationship is really over, especially if the relationship is in its early stages. Accepting that their girlfriend is really gone is something that men sometimes simply cannot do. They live hoping that they will wake up to their girlfriends face the next morning. If you are asking yourself “how can i get back with my ex girlfriend”, you need to start by coming up with a strategy regarding how you are going to do this.

There are multiple steps you must take if you want to successfully get back with your ex girlfriend. I am going to provide some tips that will be useful during this process.

First of all you need to realise that if you play your cards right, you can get a second chance. Getting back with your ex girlfriend is not impossible. First of all, you want really think about if you want her back, do you still love her? Do you still want her to be a significant part of your life? Will things be better than they are now if you get back together? Do you want her back for self-orientated reasons? Is getting back with you ex girlfriend in her best interests? Think about these things and make sure you do really want her back, and for the right reasons.

Even though the only thing running through your mind all day every day is “how can i get back with my ex girlfriend”, do not let her know this. In other words, do not let her see that you are desperate. It is completely understandable to want her back more than anything else, just don’t let her know it. Try talking to friends or family to let some of your emotions out. Don’t unleash them upon her. And most importantly, don’t turn into a stalker!

Let your emotions out in a healthy way, learn to control them. Don’t spend all of your time feeling sorry for yourself. Think about getting her back, not how bad you feel. If you show her how badly this has affected you she will most likely see you as weak and this will only reinforce her decision to be single even more.

Try to stay in touch with your ex. Before I go any further with this do not use this as an excuse to talk to her minute of every day. This will damage your chances massively, just try to keep means of communication open (you don’t even have to start the conversation). Don’t try to contact her every day, but you should by no means avoid her. Preferably you should discuss things other than your relationship. Just be casual.

Figure out what it was that went wrong with the relationship. There would have been a problem that led her to break up with, try to find out what that problem was and work on setting those things right so they can be avoided.

Most importantly, have a plan to get your ex girlfriend back, this will benefit you in the long run. Do not simply improvise and hope that things will work out, you will only damage your chances of getting her back even more. If you follow the above tip you won’t be asking “how can I get back with my ex girlfriend” for much longer.

http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-can-i-get-back-with-my-ex-girlfriend

A Guide to Talking to the Media from an Insider

I am the media.  I work as a reporter, editor and producer for a network.

Cue the hisses, catcalls, tomato throwing and villagers with torches and pitchforks.

I know my job ranks up there with lawyers, politicians and used car salesmen.

I am also just like you. I’m actually a little shy.

A major part of of my job is talking to people. It’s also one of the best parts of my job.

Why would you have to talk to the media?

You don’t, but you may want to.

In 1968 Andy Warhol talked about everyone having fifteen minutes of fame. You may be called up to reach your fifteen minutes of fame as someone who witnessed a remarkable event like a tornado, or as a spokesperson for your group or organization.

Ahead, lets look at the three types of people we regularly talk to, and how to make talking to the media a pleasant and productive experience.

Who Does the Media Talk to?

http://www.infobarrel.com/A_Guide_to_Talking_to_the_Media_from_an_Insider

A Mother Knows: Helping Your Child Cope With Divorce

I’m living in teenage hell.

The “glitter is more, cleaning is a chore, mothers are a bore, in two seconds flat you are at war, and YOU just want to yell, ‘Shut the front door’” kind.

I’m not really sure how else to describe it.

Today I was asked a plethora of questions from the minute I picked her up from school, til the 10 minutes it took to get us home. It started with, “How was your day?” and quickly progressed to “Why are you always so mean?” ending with, “Are you starting menopause?”

I felt like I arrived fresh-faced, then emerged with scars so deep that hours of Heidi Montag plastic surgery wouldn’t smooth them out.

Yes, parents ruin lives. That is exactly what we set out to do when we have children. I actually made a conscious decision that I would be in labor for three days, beg for drugs only not to receive them, give birth, put in important mommy time by introducing her to BIG ideas and fostering cognitive development just to squash any dream she may imagine for her life.

Hey, go big or go home, right?

But tomorrow I am seeking revenge. I am going to wear her Uggs. And her favorite shirt. And then, I’m going to test-drive her jewelry, use her new straight iron, and make-out with her life-sized Justin Bieber cut out. Well, not really. Cause that would be creepy. But I am going to wear her Uggs. Just because I can. And I may use her shirt as a cleaning rag. But that would be over the top. You know what? Maybe I won’t even go in her room at all. Take that.

Truth be told our relationship blurs the lines of friend and mom. It’s probably 2.3 parts friend; 1.7 parts mom. For a long time it was just the two of us. Then along came a spider who sat down beside her stealing her curds and whey (figuratively that would be me, the mom). And there were three… then four… then five of us.

Continued on the next page  

I began my writing career over 15 years ago reporting for local newspapers on anything and everything of interest to women. I even traveled to Nicaragua for a series of articles on the women’s movement in Central America. I’ve also written for many Connecticut-based magazines. …

karen pasacreta’s author pageAuthor’s Blog

After a Divorce Moving on to a new Life

I was with my husband for 20 years before he dropped the bomb on me. I never in a million years expected it no way no how. I have 2 sons with him both grown now. But again never saw it coming. On my 35th birthday he gave me the papers. He had filed in May of 2000 and gave them to me in September 2000 on my birthday as I said. I was broken, confused and hurt. I did not know what to do or where to turn. I had 2 sons to care for and with my income was impossible to do. I had to let my apartment go and all our belongings. I moved in with my Mom and Dad. I took on 3 jobs 2 were part-time. Just to feed my kids and pay my Mom and give my kids lunch money. They never had the designer clothes and shoes, never got to go the mall to shop and hang out. They at age 16 each got part time jobs too to help out. Not one cent did my ex pay and he was suppose to pay child support. I did not have money for a lawyer so he got away with it. Now after 7 years I have since remarried to my true prince charming and happy once again. But now my children suffer. They go from place to place and feel as if they have no home. I want them to live with me and my husband and we both have offered time and again. But, they feel if they do it will hurt their Dad. He after the divorce married the woman he left me for. I talk to him cordially and try to be nice. But with all that was done and said it still hurts. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive. I just wish he would tell our children it is okay to be with me since he does not want them with him. I have tried numerous times to coax the boys here and sway them with well wishes and such. I have all but promised them the moon. I can not speak ill of their father in front of them nor tell them the whole truth. I do not want my children to hate their father and have hatred in their hearts for him and their step mom. But, what am I suppose to do? Carry on and pretend all is well. Keep hurting secretly that my children are miserable? well, you tell me what would you do?

 

http://www.helium.com/items/796012-after-a-divorce-moving-on-to-a-new-life

When in Doubt Talk it out

Things in the marriage are a little rough. No one seems to be happy. Everything the couple has done to help seems to have gone flat. Perhaps some of the basics like trust, love, and communication skills are all under fire. So what is keeping the ring on the finger? Is it just doubt? Maybe by reviewing some possible fears and doubts there can be some resolution to the situation.

1. Can love ever be found again?

There is no concrete answer to that question. The future is unsure. Is there real love in the situation now? Is it more about companionship? However, as long as there is a committed relationship with a ring and vows no one should be out looking for other options. So if one is ready for a new love, divorce seems the viable option.

2. What about the children?

Children will be affected. However, if it is handled correctly they will be able to deal with the changing situation. Divorce parents should remember to put the children’s needs first after the divorce and keep quibbling away from them. They don’t belong in the middle. Children will be affected if they stay in a marriage with unhappy and fighting parents as well.

3. Who gets the friends?

No matter how hard all the friends try and stay neutral, decisions have to be made. Awkward moments may occur when divorced parties show up at the same function. It’s fair to say that making new friends will have to happen if divorce is the choice. Old friends will still be there, but personal growth will require enlarging social circles.

4. Can I make it financially?

The party with the best lawyer gets the money. Having another source of income and a place to live are very real concerns and should be a part of the decision. Make sure if divorce is the option those issues are covered in the paper work. If education is needed include those costs in the settlement agreement.

5. Is there any way we can make this work?

This may be one of the biggest doubts. Normally, marriage starts out with two people who truly have deep feelings for one another and have a common goal of a lifetime of happiness. People don’t just wake up one morning and decide they have no love for their partner. It comes in little steps and stages. So it would make sense that maybe little steps back towards each other may do the same thing. The truth is two people who want to make things work, no matter what can probably succeed. If one of the parties has hesitation then it is probably better to cut the ties.

If divorce is the option, protect each other from hate, because of the feeling you used to have. Practice forgiveness and divorce with dignity.

 

http://www.helium.com/items/1275998-when-in-doubt-talk-it-out

Do Not Think Back When You Talk to Your Ex

There are certain things where you just do not overdo it in any form at this point if you’re trying to talk to a former girlfriend, remember that the past is past and it is definitely in one of those things that you should not talk.

While at the time it is a good idea to use a good memory as a way to build some relationship and make your ex feel the connection again, talking about the past too much can give the wrong idea.

She may think or you can make you feel as if you’re one of those guys who live in the past and that’s definitely something you should not do not make sense if you’re trying again to build a future with her.

So what you have to remember the past?

You just have to adhere to the good stuff and still be very careful, because in fact there are some good memories that will anyway be linked to bad.

Things like that weekend getaway that movie was, but can also include the fight they had on the way back that are not easy to forget, then the conversation changes and then, suddenly, the atmosphere goes from bad worse in a very short period of time.

You should definitely talk about some things from the past, and that in fact it helps to build the relationship and the feeling of returning to socialize with your ex, but be sure to keep education at the time they get the bad memories for her.

You must speak now, and talk about the future

The fact that I can stay focused on the present is always good if you want to get back with an ex girlfriend a happy future and hint at your side does not hurt either. Find a way to make it feel like I’m still connected with you, because you do not think of you as one of those guys who is part of their past and intended to stay there.

You should also bring up the future in a way suggestive or implies that you and she can have a good time together just so she begins to bring to mind the idea of ​​returning to you in a good way.

Whatever you do, stay calm

The other thing to avoid is seem like you’d be too keen on the idea of ​​getting back with her again. It is much easier to recover a former girlfriend when it seems natural “just” that way you planned it or not it happens. 

Want help to get your ex back quickly and easily? Want more tips on what to do to win back your ex? Visit: Get your ex back book.

Did you know that the breakdown in your relationship you are a man or woman is the cause of extreme depression that can lead to suicide? Why are you complaining when your ex boyfriend or girlfriend has left you? You can get your ex not complicate your life .. Discover secrets, tips, techniques and methods to get your ex back and not move away anymore.Visit. …  How To get back to my ex

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