Tag Archives: married couples

Divorce as the New "Breaking Up"

“I want a divorce” has become the all-too-common “let’s break up.” The only problem is that a marriage was meant to last more than just a few months. It’s typical for teens and those just “dating” to break up after a few months or even weeks. They are still developing and growing into themselves. However, more often today it’s common for adults to divorce as it it were a teen romance. Why?

One thought is that not all grownups are really “grown up.” Instead, many young couples who marry have not allowed ample time for themselves to grow as individuals. Instead, they develop a marriage identity, but never one of their own. This is often more evident in women. Soon after wedlock, women find themselves developing the identities of wife and mother. The latter is true even without the actual children (and can be said of men becoming fathers.) A person’s identity is, in part, their individuality. Some couples begin to “grow apart” as they begin to realize thier true identities, their individual aspirations and their incompatibilities. But what of those who are older individuals who experience divorce more than once?

Sadly, there are “career divorcees.” Some actually marry for looks or money and once those things are gone – so is the marriage. I recently heard of a popular television personality who is getting divorced for the tenth time. First, it should be analyzed what women see in marriage to such a person. One wouldn’t think it’s due to the trust and desire for a long term commitment. Second, the thought arises as to why the television personality is unable to sustain a long term commitment. It’s actually unfortunate that marriage has become such a “throw away” institution.

When thinking of married couples we know, how many have been married for over twenty years or more? Wow, the number could probably be counted on one hand. The current thought arises, before and after filing bankruptcy, there is a course one has to take. Perhaps the same should be done with marriage. Some churches won’t marry until marriage courses are taken. This should be law. And for those contemplating divorce, (unless there are violence issues), married couples should be mandated to take a course before being allowed to finalize the divorce. There is a book that I’ve been reading I Love You, Let’s Work It Out by Dr. David Viscott that even has exercises for couples seeking to salvage their relationships.

Too often, couples are willing to “throw in the towel” on a marriage that has just begun. They don’t allow themselves to endure a difficult time or two together. If there is a true test to the marriage itself, they conclude that a divorce and a new mate is the answer. Although divorcing has become common, for future generations, it is our obligation to really think about what a commitment means to us. Marriage is a commitment. Commitments are for people who have grown up.

My name is Jakata, most people and my students call me “Ms. Kata.” I have been living in Georgia for about eight years now. I’ve also lived in Louisiana and Mississippi for a few years. By far, Georgia is th…  View profile

The Best Way to Stop Divorce

Stop a divorce as much as possible That”s one rule that most married couples abide by for the sake of their children and the immediate family members who can get affected by the separation

Stop a divorce as much as possible. That”s one rule that most married couples abide by for the sake of their children and the immediate family members who can get affected by the separation. The worst scenario could lead to the problems of broken homes and demoralizing children in the family. So it is only necessary for married couples to avoid getting divorced. If the relationship can still be worked out, why not work it out? Isn”t it best to try and make things work?

To stop fighting is one of the best things to do to stop divorce. Simple disagreements lead to serious disputes without respect and consideration. Consider the important fact that everybody commits mistakes at least once in a while. So to make things better, considering the spouse”s opinions or conditions would only be a good step forward. Respect is also very necessary that without which, proper communication wouldn”t be possible at all.

For women, threatening and nagging the husband isn”t at all respectful. Divorce is neither a good bribe nor a good trade. It isn”t a good motivation as well. Women should learn how to control themselves and should avoid yelling or running away. Sometimes, menstrual period is reasoned for this behavior; however, such occurrence can be avoided by simply having an open mind. Whether in a menstrual cycle or not, one has the power to control by simply having the will power to embrace amity.

If love”s the issue, the best way to stop divorce is to establish a good and honest communication in the relationship. When it comes to love affair, consultation could help ease the doubts or misunderstanding. Confrontation as well makes it easier to determine if the spouse concerned is being honest or not. If something is totally wrong, do not pretend. Honesty with ones feelings is only important otherwise, it would only create a series of lies thereby.

Being calm also helps ease the tension so try to be calm. To stop divorce, one must do away with the nonsense fighting. Fighting with each other is not good especially in front of the children. Always consider the sake of the children.

To stop divorce is the same way as stopping the almost impossible. However, in due time, it could be the best choice. It could lead to a happy family and best of all; the moral fiber of the children still stays with the family. It”s truly difficult to stop divorce but with the truest desire of keeping the family whole and happy everything is possible.

A lot of people would have resorted immediately to divorce without amicable settlement first. The result is that the relationship ends, the family broken and the children”s pain are never mended. The best way to stop divorce is to stop being hasty and thinking that the good relationship isn”t recoverable. Imminently, problems are never truly solved with divorce. It just starts more problems as another course of action is taken. To stop divorce is to stop it all!

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http://www.thefreelibrary.com/The Best Way to Stop Divorce-a01073996007