The FIRST Step Following a Breakup or Divorce

So you’re on the wrong end of a breakup? Chances are you’re filled with more questions than answers. The challenge is that most of these questions you don’t possess the answers for, mostly because they are beyond your control.

In a previous article we covered the fact that your thoughts control your actions and your actions control your habits, which ultimately control your lifestyle. The quickest way you can get a handle of these thoughts and actions is to keep a daily log, at least for the first 30 days following a breakup.

Your daily log will become your personal road map, allowing you to chart your course and keep on track by identifying thoughts, emotions, actions, and habits. The quickest route from Point A to Point B is a straight line. There’s no point in delaying. The goal is to get you out from under your burden and free from pain as quickly as possible. You can achieve this most effectively by keeping track of where you are on a daily basis.

An excellent starting point is to take out a clean sheet of paper and at the top write — “In 30 Days, I will… “

I want you to complete that page. Are you still stuck? OK, here’s a question to get you started:

In next 30 days what do you hope to accomplish? How do you plan to get over this breakup? When you get yourself strong and past this breakup how will you feel?

Go, do it now-then check back when you’re done.

Did you do it? Great! Now over the next 30 days I want you to take a moment each day to reflect on what you are feeling. Write your most personal thoughts, every single day. I want you to address your fears and celebrate your victories.

30 days is a very short period of time, but when you are going through hell, it can feel like forever. The goal here is to allow each new day to build upon the next. By writing what you are feeling and have accomplished, you can monitor your progress and keep yourself on track.

Whenever you feel yourself sliding backwards or repeating negative and destructive patterns, look back on your log and see how and where you are get tripped up. By noting how certain situations affect your emotions, you can become fully aware of the pitfalls and avoid losing progress and delaying your recovery.

Stay on track! Use the log every single day.

Get a copy of the “Divorce and Breakup Recovery System” available at

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