Top reasons people divorce
There are many reasons why people divorce, and the tendency in America for couples to break up has been growing steadily for the past two generations. The current rate of divorce for first marriages is at 50 percent. In the 1940s, the figure was at 14 percent. (www.divorcerate.org)
However, despite all the statistics, for those who do marry in the 21st Century, the reasons for divorcing are basically the same as they’ve always been:
1. Infidelity: The husband or wife decides to stray from the marriage bed. The secrecy, lies, accusations, public shame follow. These invariably cause a rift that can never be healed, except by divorce.
2. Physical and/or emotional abuse: This kind of behavior of a husband against a wife, or vice versa, can be devastating to a marriage. Often, abused women stay with a terrible marriage with the old excuse: I’m doing it for the kids. However, this kind of cruelty inevitably becomes worse, and divorce may be the best solution for the safety of the abused parent and the children.
3. Career problems: One mate, traditionally the husband, may fail to provide adequate income for the family because of unemployment or inability to hold jobs. The situation inevitably declines into loss of mutual respect, financial hardships and increasing arguments about money. When one becomes unemployed, being relegated to stay-at-home household duties can also cause conflict.
4. Frequent separations: When both husband and wife work, their different duties, business travel and job responsibilities can drive them apart emotionally. Long military deployment absences may also cause similar problems. Additionally, when one mate exceeds the other in promotions, rank and income, that can be a source of jealousy and resentment.
5. Physical decline: During courtship, couples strive to be at their best, in looks, weight, hygiene, clothing, attitude and other positive attributes. If after marriage, one allows aging, health, body condition and other factors to deteriorate, it puts an increasing strain on the relationship. Loss of sexual intimacy can be a serious factor in the break-up of a couple. Further, when one mate descends into excessive drinking or illegal drug use, it can wreck the marriage. Often, childbirth and long-term illnesses, with their physical and psychological effects, can hurt a marriage.
6. In-laws: The butt of stand-up comedy jokes, real-life conflict with in-laws is rarely a humorous situation. An interfering, bossy mother-in-law or a slovenly,