Why Couples Separate And Divorce
Every separation is unique. If you asked 100 couples who have divorced what caused them to split, you could get dozens of different reasons. However, surveys show there are common factors in many divorces. Here are some of those common factors:
Not really serious. This really does occur particularly when the couple is young. One or both partners had not fully understood that marriage is a life-long commitment. Now, unable or unwilling to accept that fact, the marriage ends.
Money. Pressure of not being able to pay the bills can be a factor why couples separate. It might be that one spouse has failed to balance his or her budget when living at home or unemployment has dented the couple’s income. But whatever the cause is, money worries are often a factor in couple’s separation.
Adultery. It’s an old-fashioned word, but cheating on your spouse is a major factor in the breakdown of many marriages.
Criminal behavior. Abuse can take many forms. Physical violence is a well-known face of abuse but verbal threats, intimidation and psychological cruelty are also part of abuse. This reprehensible behavior is a significant factor in forcing couples to separate.
Lack of communication. It seems silly that this factor causes a marriage to fail, but there are many couples who find it difficult or impossible to communicate with one another. Many disagreements can be sorted out if only the partners sit down and calmly discuss the situation. If they can’t, the separation begins.
Mid-stream change of plans. A couple may create plans and agree on what they will do as the years roll on, but one partner might change his or her mind. It could be moving interstate, not having a child or more children, or one spouse no longer wanting to stay at home to care for the children. When a major shift in the original agreement occurs, some couples can’t handle the change and separate.
Alcohol and drugs. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is a worry not just for the user but also for those who are nearest and dearest to him or her. Many marriages fail when addiction rears its ugly head.
Second marriages. The divorce rate is higher with second and subsequent marriages than with first-time unions. One of the contributing factors to this could be the relationship with the step-children. Oftentimes, when someone re-marries, one or both spouses become a step-parent. While the couple needs to get to know one another, there are the kids to consider as well. Children, who don’t like their new step-parent or vice-versa, can be a factor in the breakdown of the marriage.
Berna Abonita is associated with, www.divorceguide.com, a website offering free advice on reason divorce and reason for divorce.